Yes, you used to be good, didn't you? People used to clap, not laugh, didn't they? Sony's 2008 showing wasn't at quite the same level of hilarity as E3 "Giant Crab" 2006, but it got close to previous depths.
HOME (AGAIN): No release date. For a chatroom it's giving away free. This is going to be the biggest financial disaster in modern gaming, the biggest since since SEGA buried 350,000 32Xs in a disused coal mine in North Wales.
A BUDGET RANGE: Games you can buy on eBay for $9 will be sold in shops for $30. It's this sort of sound business sense that Sony has become renowned for since the launch of PS3.
RESISTANCE 2: The world's most generic shooter gets a sequel. Watching a robot giving a PowerPoint presentation of all the prime numbers would be preferable.
KILLZONE 2 (AGAIN): The surprisingly popular sequel to a PS2 game no one really liked. Awesome. It might come out next year, maybe.
RATCHET & CLANK FUTURE: QUEST FOR BOOTY: The name says it all. Stuff like this is not a reason for adults to spend £300 on a console, is it?
LITTLEBIGPLANET (AGAIN): The world's most niche game, seemingly developed specifically for the benefit of 150 people who post on internet forums. The internet Sony cum-buckets will love it - actual sales to normal people will number in the 100s.
THE REST: Misery. Misery. Crushing pain. Depression. Misery.
THE RESULT: Perhaps 2009 will be the year Sony brings out the big guns. Or reveals PS4 as a low-power party machine.
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
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Each post .02% worse than the last. DREAMCAST - CONSOLE OF CHOICE FOR HOLLYWOOD ACTION... POOR, POOR, POOR LITTLE SONY - FINAL FANTASY XIII ... "BEAUTIFULLY CRAFTED DREAMCAST GARDEN ORNAMENTS" EVOID DRINKS DON'T DO ARTIFICIAL ELSEWHERE ON "THE NETWORK" #00030 BITS OF THE WORLD THAT STILL HAVE SEGA SYMBOLISM O... THE CONTINUING ADVENTURES OF ANDY THE SQUIRREL THE SEGA CHANGE MACHINE LADIES DIABLO III A "DREAMCAST 2 EXCLUSIVE" CIARAN AND KEVIN'S SONIC MUSIC MEDLEY
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Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
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It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
Oh come on, that's a bit harsh.
There's at least another 13 EDGE readers that are looking forward to it aswell.
Seriously, I'll buy a PS3 this Christmas. Be it just as protest against what horrible casual, fan-decimating monster Nintendo has become.
Seriously, I'll buy a PS3 this Christmas. Be it just as protest against what horrible casual, fan-decimating monster Nintendo has become.
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That's kind of dumb. Sony's presentation was as bad as Nintendo's. Wow Resistance 2, Killzone 2, and Patapon 2. They're going with the "if at first you don't succeed" model of business I guess. Neither Nintendo nor Sony announced anything at all.
Saying you will buy a PS3 to protest the Wii is like saying you'll vote Nazi to keep the communists out of power. The correct solution is to buy neither to protest junk in general. Play some Saturn, or Dreamcast, or Genesis, or Master System, or Game Gear. It's not like there isn't a huge library of Sega stuff out there to keep you happy while the other three consoles have a "tallest midget" contest.
Of course, Microsoft flaunting their money is also nothing to be proud of at E3. But they must have some skill in spending it all. Making Square Enix sell out like that.
Still waiting for SEGA to eventually shock the world with a new console. MEGA SATURN DREAM SYSTEM!
Resistance 2- Look! Our Brumak is bigger than Gears of War's and very slowly executes scripted set pieces.
Little Big Planet- who's going to spend all the time needed to make all the content for their levels? People will make a few penis-shaped levels then take it back to the shop for a refund.
God of War III- Pre-rendered trailer letting all the fans of this homo-erotic 'em-up know that they've got a very long wait ahead of them.
Killzone 2- Obviously still unfinished as they try desperately to make it look as grey as the pre-rendered footage they originally showed off.
Crackdown clone- I can't even remember the game's name, but it looked just like a rip-off of Crackdown, right down to the roof jumping and special powers.
Home- They still don't have a release date, so until then just load up GTAIV if you want to play virtual pool.
Right, I'm off to play some more Sega Rally on the Model 2 emulator.
Look at yourselfs! Through your bitterness towards sony you've become massive (if not the biggest) microsoft fanboys!!! Is that what you really want?!
Like some above poster said, I still have my Saturn and Dreamcast. I don't need this thing the gaming industry has become.
You must be seriously senile if you dont understand we are NOT microsoft fanboys. FUCK OFF
Word verification: oossh: The sound lmaonoob makes when PS3 mounts him.
It's so easy to wind you guys up lol i can see why zorg enjoys stirring it up on xboxer so much!
And what about the news that Sony will launch a 80 GB Version oft that crappy PS3 in September for 399 USD ???
Will they ever learn ?
Geeahh you are right lololz!!11
DR3AMCAST STIL RULEZZ!!!1 roflmao
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Like some above poster said, I still have my Saturn and Dreamcast. I don't need this thing the gaming industry has become.
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Where're your Master System, Genesis, and Game Gear? And let's not forget the 32X and Sega CD? What do you do when you need a fix of Zillion, Gunstar Heroes, Sonic CD, Star Wars Arcade, the original Shinobi, Revenge of Shinobi, Shining Force, Streets of Rage 2 (portable), Sonic 2, Psycho Fox, Sonic Chaos, Comix Zone, Sonic 3, Ghouls N Ghosts, Sonic and Knuckles, Vectorman, Knuckles Kaotix, Streets of Rage, Space Harrier, Eternal Champions (the CD one), After Burner, and Chakan: The Forever Man in that order?
Speaking of the megaCD, does anyone else remember Road Avenger and Tomcat Alley? You've made me physically want to play them! I'm praying my mum hasn't flogged them :s
I only have Saturn onwards now so I can only play those currently (this is why I only mentioned those), which it sucks. Fortunetly, roms exist while I don't get those consoles again.
Time to boot up the emulators methinks.
Then you get ponces trying to make up for it later by writing stuff like:
"OMG Wow does ne1 remeber Genesis, uve mad eme wanna ply Bubsy!!!11! LOL XD"
Fuck off!
oh dear! cheer up you miserable sod!
Sure, I'll cheer up - just as soon as you've had your trolling fill and have fucked back off into the ether.