UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
Surely this sort of terrible showing can't be an accident? There has to be someone high-up in Sony orchestrating as quick an exit from the hardware industry as possible?

'Another thing we used to be good at was making games people liked'

Yes, you used to be good, didn't you? People used to clap, not laugh, didn't they? Sony's 2008 showing wasn't at quite the same level of hilarity as E3 "Giant Crab" 2006, but it got close to previous depths.

HOME (AGAIN): No release date. For a chatroom it's giving away free. This is going to be the biggest financial disaster in modern gaming, the biggest since since SEGA buried 350,000 32Xs in a disused coal mine in North Wales.

A BUDGET RANGE: Games you can buy on eBay for $9 will be sold in shops for $30. It's this sort of sound business sense that Sony has become renowned for since the launch of PS3.

RESISTANCE 2: The world's most generic shooter gets a sequel. Watching a robot giving a PowerPoint presentation of all the prime numbers would be preferable.

KILLZONE 2 (AGAIN): The surprisingly popular sequel to a PS2 game no one really liked. Awesome. It might come out next year, maybe.

RATCHET & CLANK FUTURE: QUEST FOR BOOTY: The name says it all. Stuff like this is not a reason for adults to spend £300 on a console, is it?

LITTLEBIGPLANET (AGAIN): The world's most niche game, seemingly developed specifically for the benefit of 150 people who post on internet forums. The internet Sony cum-buckets will love it - actual sales to normal people will number in the 100s.

THE REST: Misery. Misery. Crushing pain. Depression. Misery.

THE RESULT: Perhaps 2009 will be the year Sony brings out the big guns. Or reveals PS4 as a low-power party machine.
Blogger P.P.A. said...
This post has been removed by the author.
Blogger Capt_Jax said...
"The world's most niche game, seemingly developed specifically for the benefit of 150 people who post on internet forums"

Oh come on, that's a bit harsh.

There's at least another 13 EDGE readers that are looking forward to it aswell.
Blogger P.P.A. said...
And no mention of the utterly abysmal, depressingly casual and hope-shattering Nintendo conference? Sorry, but this time I have to side with Sony. Not even they could make a worse presentation than what post-Wii Big N delivered here. I mean, no real games (but perhaps Animal Crossing which, while a great series, is at the borderline of casual)? GTA DS, just briefly mentioned without any shots or videos? Instead a device that makes the Wiimote function as it should always have and a "music game" where you randomly press buttons or waggle around, causing the game to automatically play music?
Seriously, I'll buy a PS3 this Christmas. Be it just as protest against what horrible casual, fan-decimating monster Nintendo has become.
Blogger colin said...
PPA said:
Seriously, I'll buy a PS3 this Christmas. Be it just as protest against what horrible casual, fan-decimating monster Nintendo has become.

That's kind of dumb. Sony's presentation was as bad as Nintendo's. Wow Resistance 2, Killzone 2, and Patapon 2. They're going with the "if at first you don't succeed" model of business I guess. Neither Nintendo nor Sony announced anything at all.

Saying you will buy a PS3 to protest the Wii is like saying you'll vote Nazi to keep the communists out of power. The correct solution is to buy neither to protest junk in general. Play some Saturn, or Dreamcast, or Genesis, or Master System, or Game Gear. It's not like there isn't a huge library of Sega stuff out there to keep you happy while the other three consoles have a "tallest midget" contest.
Blogger scully1888 said...
I'm stating now for a fact that MAG, its 256-or-whatever-the-fuck-it-was-player action game, either won't happen or will be shitballs.
Blogger Rizno said...
You guys are a-bit too sour when it comes to Sony, lol. I'm more upset by how Nintendo has been changed over the years... well at least since the Wii came out. GameCube may have not been that popular but damn, it was more original Nintendo than anything else.

Of course, Microsoft flaunting their money is also nothing to be proud of at E3. But they must have some skill in spending it all. Making Square Enix sell out like that.

Still waiting for SEGA to eventually shock the world with a new console. MEGA SATURN DREAM SYSTEM!
Blogger Grytpype said...
Nintendo's conference was utter, UTTER shite. I really do think Miyamoto has gone senile. Smiling and laughing away while playing Wii Music, as if it wasn't complete, random bollocks like 99% of Wii games.
Blogger PhotoBoy said...
Sony's presentation was pretty weak:

Resistance 2- Look! Our Brumak is bigger than Gears of War's and very slowly executes scripted set pieces.

Little Big Planet- who's going to spend all the time needed to make all the content for their levels? People will make a few penis-shaped levels then take it back to the shop for a refund.

God of War III- Pre-rendered trailer letting all the fans of this homo-erotic 'em-up know that they've got a very long wait ahead of them.

Killzone 2- Obviously still unfinished as they try desperately to make it look as grey as the pre-rendered footage they originally showed off.

Crackdown clone- I can't even remember the game's name, but it looked just like a rip-off of Crackdown, right down to the roof jumping and special powers.

Home- They still don't have a release date, so until then just load up GTAIV if you want to play virtual pool.

Right, I'm off to play some more Sega Rally on the Model 2 emulator.
Blogger lmaonoob said...
O well, gran turismo 5 and it's 300 hrs of endurance races should keep us plenty busy ... :( I'd be interested to here what microsoft had in store as I do own both consoles. Although asking for a bit of unbiased reporting here is a waste of time lol

Look at yourselfs! Through your bitterness towards sony you've become massive (if not the biggest) microsoft fanboys!!! Is that what you really want?!
Blogger Apples and Oranges said...
Microsoft's was shit too. The only thing that disguised it was Final Fantasy XIII and what ensued.

Like some above poster said, I still have my Saturn and Dreamcast. I don't need this thing the gaming industry has become.
Blogger Mikey4u1984 said...
@ lmaonoob

You must be seriously senile if you dont understand we are NOT microsoft fanboys. FUCK OFF

Word verification: oossh: The sound lmaonoob makes when PS3 mounts him.
Blogger lmaonoob said...
Listening to some of the arguments on the 360 vs ps3 debate i'd disagree!

It's so easy to wind you guys up lol i can see why zorg enjoys stirring it up on xboxer so much!
Blogger ecaps said...
And what about the news that Sony will launch a 80 GB Version oft that crappy PS3 in September for 399 USD ???
Will they ever learn ?
Blogger Mikey4u1984 said...
@ lmaonoob

Geeahh you are right lololz!!11


Blogger colin said...
Apples and Oranges said:
Like some above poster said, I still have my Saturn and Dreamcast. I don't need this thing the gaming industry has become.

Where're your Master System, Genesis, and Game Gear? And let's not forget the 32X and Sega CD? What do you do when you need a fix of Zillion, Gunstar Heroes, Sonic CD, Star Wars Arcade, the original Shinobi, Revenge of Shinobi, Shining Force, Streets of Rage 2 (portable), Sonic 2, Psycho Fox, Sonic Chaos, Comix Zone, Sonic 3, Ghouls N Ghosts, Sonic and Knuckles, Vectorman, Knuckles Kaotix, Streets of Rage, Space Harrier, Eternal Champions (the CD one), After Burner, and Chakan: The Forever Man in that order?
Blogger lmaonoob said...
You missed out the pico lol i think we still have it somewhere.

Speaking of the megaCD, does anyone else remember Road Avenger and Tomcat Alley? You've made me physically want to play them! I'm praying my mum hasn't flogged them :s
Blogger Apples and Oranges said...

I only have Saturn onwards now so I can only play those currently (this is why I only mentioned those), which it sucks. Fortunetly, roms exist while I don't get those consoles again.
Blogger Ren said...
Man I think I soiled myself with that long retro list from colin.

Time to boot up the emulators methinks.
Blogger Nick said...
What's with all the 'lol'ing and the smileys? Just fuck off, I want to read articulate albeit bitter comments from cynics, not shit like: "M$ ahve grate games bt PS3 delayStation won E3 ROFL!"

Then you get ponces trying to make up for it later by writing stuff like:

"OMG Wow does ne1 remeber Genesis, uve mad eme wanna ply Bubsy!!!11! LOL XD"

Fuck off!
Blogger Tysoe_J said...
I love you all!
Blogger lmaonoob said...
@ nick

oh dear! cheer up you miserable sod!
Blogger skulker said...
its like 1998 around here, same shit games, different decade!
Blogger Nick said...

Sure, I'll cheer up - just as soon as you've had your trolling fill and have fucked back off into the ether.

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