After we got hold of some delicious, illegal drugs, heretofore referred to as "hanky-panky", we shortly realized that Tekken is THE BEST SERIES EVER and we really love it. Yes, we do! We met ourselves in an Econo Lodge off a dimly-lit dirt road to find out why:
Us: Hello. That is a nice tie you have on there.
Us: Thanks. We found it in a trashcan outside Subway. We were lucky enough to get our delicious meatball sub AND a snazzy tie!
Us: Is that so?
Us: Yes. We cannot afford proper clothes. We have a deep fondness for Maddog 20/20 and Thunderbird, and of course, the "hanky-panky". *Winks at us* Can't get enough of that Thunderbird!
Us: So, ourselves, WHY do you love Tekken so much? Are you secretly working for Kutaragi?
Us: Why yes, of course.
Us: Really?
Us: No, we lie, because we have an addiction to cheap fortified wine. *Drinks more Thunderbird*
Us: Certainly there must be SOME reason why you love it so much. The graphics? The music? The fact that it's always been PlayStation exclusive?
Us: Yes to all! Virtua Fighter is t3h sUxoRZ! ^o^
Us: Wow. We sure admire your enthusiasm. So how long have we been a PS3 owner?
Us: Why, since launch day! And we also use the DualShock 3 as a sex toy.
Us: Speaking of sex... We've always been... smitten for ourselves...
Us: Yes indeed...we have... and we can't hold back our feelings any longer...
Us: Oh...
Us: Oh..!
Us: Oh yes...
Us: Oh yes...!
Us: Oh yes!
Us: OH YES!!
Us: Oh...oh...oh yes! OH YES! OH YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE
And that's why we love Tekken so much.
Labels: GONZO, LIES, PR DISASTER
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
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What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS MONTH: THE CREDITS SONIC SHOES THAT ARE NOWHERE NEAR AS GOOD AS YOU A... SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS MONTH: HOT AMY ROSE PANTS A... SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS MONTH: THE 10 BEST SCREENSH... SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS MONTH: SUMO DIGITAL INTERVI... GT5:PROLOGUE. AN ERROR HAS OCCURRED ELSEWHERE ON "THE NETWORK" #00019 SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS MONTH: A REVIEW OF SEGA SUP... SOMETHING ABOUT SONIC AND BLUE SKIES
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
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Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
Please.
PLEASE!!!
here:
adventuresofswill.blogspot.com/
Swillo: Go away.
I've had enough.
Why can't swill man just fuck off?
I could write a better blog post and I'm SHIT.
WV: zdsfdgac - the gagging sound when reading a Swill post.
Then mebe we can run a best of UKR blog from now on. Like Top of the Pops: the main show has finished, but there's still ToTP2 showing repeats :)
Either way, he's still a massive twat.
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/The_Swill_Man
Please don't say Massachusetts.
What's the fuckin' point, seriously...?
The words "painful" and "lame" come to mind.
http://www.play.com/Games/Wii/4-/3436259/Animal-Crossing-Wii/Product.html
This actually doesn't 'feel' like a Swill post. Despite the sounds being from his website. 'SPLOOGE' isn't that Digitiser speak?
Anyway credit to whoever is updating that Encyclopedia page. Maybe they should work here?
I like that they've added recent material from my 'fake' blog. Even if it's pretty foul bringing Chelsea into things.
Without a doubt would though.
Oh, and chelsea: would
Well, I could tell from the third word that it was a SwillMan post - 'we' this-and-that yet again. This is fucking futile though - what is this guy trying to achieve by posting this utter bollocks?!
Why write up something so lame on an otherwise fairly amusing blog - infamy at any cost? He HASN'T even TAGGED it pRopeRly! *insert frustrating Americanism*
This actually hits a new low. For the internet as a whole.
And what the hell is Thunderbird? An e-mail and news client? A member of the marionette rescue organisation? Why, when writing on a UK site (the clue is in the title), use Americanisms that the target audience won't understand or will be annoyed by?
We keep a fairly close watch on the Recent Changes page of Encyclopedia Dramatica, and were previously aware of your Swill Man. However, now that fappable loli is involved, we feel it is time to take a hand.
In thanks for your bringing the matter to our attention, a gallery of DELICIOUS Chelsea has been located and added to the article. You are cordially invited to create as many ED accounts as you wish and vent your hatred to your hearts' content (as long as it is funny) if it gets too long, we will convert it to a collapsible HTML object. Go nuts.
If the esteemed Mr. Migeed is writing things like this in his formative years, one can only speculate what a fat, milky lolcow he will become in the future. We will be watching.
Our thanks once more. Until the next time, we are Anonymous. We are legion. We do not forgive, We do not forget, and The Swill Man has our attention.
P.S. We believe you have a drink in fagland called 20/20. That's basically the same as Thunderbird.
Admittedly individuals in the Church of Scientology have been pushing their luck recently, bug given how hard they fail at it (the internets) their efforts have not been difficult to isolate and discredit.
Nobody "Pretends to be Anonymous."
Who has already been replaced by Phorenzik?
Who has responded to it in the comments thread, implictly denying he wrote it?
A post about loving a playstation-exclusive franchise (and onself, physically)?
On April 1st?
I, like, NEVER post comments on this site - never I tells ya.
But this... this... WTF?
Are we definitely sure that this isn't some kind of Spam-bot that's somehow infiltrated the site or something?
Zog is now a businessman, with partneships and gadget rings, and posh networks etc.
UKR is now a kind of embarrassment for him but, for a reason, he can't just close it. He has to kill it before, and therefore, he allowed the swillfatty in.
Pretending like the whole Anonymous "organization" gives a crap about this joke? No, only you care. Act your age and use your own name.
If not, please Swill go away and never return. :(
Also, Why does The Swill Man exist?
Because of that time we kicked a tramp to death behind Asda.
And then call DOING DRUGS by a funny name!
You are Daddy Cool.
Line up, take aim, fire at will.
I don't deserve your pity :(
But I'll wear the Sega vest tshirt at my execution. Try not to get any blood on it, it could be worth something later on down the line when UKR is nothing more than a figment of the Wayback Machine's server-based imagination :(
wkymekc: WikiMech, the new spam-fighting bot to keep the Sony PR bollocks safe from vandalism
The internet is now broken.
It had to happen some time, but UK:R is equivalent to the greenland ice sheets melting beyond the point of no return, Swill Man is that point.
It was inevitable as more young retards got taught in the ways of computers but for fuck sake not here.
Please die Swill Man.
R.I.P. Taka. Guess no one felt the love. :(
Get a grip.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtua_Fighter_5
Taka is back apparently.
quiwolf: Jonathan Ross inspired fable warning of the dangers of telling lies.