UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
Here's an email we got about Nintendo giving away sex aids to children. If only all our emails were this imaginative, this much about sex, and this free of typos, instead of from angry retro gamers and weirdos who think we're serious about wanting to rape Cream's bottom:
"In case you weren't aware yet, McDonalds in America has made a deal with Nintendo to make six Nintendo-themed toys for their Happy Meals, asking kids to "Take The Mario Challenge" (whatever the fuck that means). However, it would appear to anyone clever enough to see through Nintendo's paper-thin disguise that the "toys" are actually sex aids for the kids' parents and "Take The Mario Challenge" translates directly to "Let Mario And His Friends Help You Jizz All Over Your C&A Jogging Bottoms".

"Please find enclosed photos of the three most dubious items."

A Mario 'ball'

"A Mario 'ball', clearly small enough to be inserted into the anus for
homosexual male stimulation."

A Yoshi 'lickout machine'

"A Yoshi 'lickout machine' (with another free anal ball), which allows you to have everyone's favourite dinosaur give your lady friend a cheeky gobble, with his upper snout clearly used to agitate the clitoris.

A Yoshi 'wank mate'

"A Yoshi 'wank mate', designed to wrap firmly (yet gently) around the shaft of the penis, allowing you to pretend you're getting chugged off by a stupid wee green bastard with a squeaky voice.

"I hope you will all join me in "Taking The Mario Challenge" by grabbing a hold of young Yoshi and giving the old boy a jolly sound thrashing."
Blogger Russ said...
I'm Lovin' It
Blogger eightfivezero said...
The 'Take the Mario Challenge' thing reminds me of the 'Back To The Future' logo in a sexual way.
Blogger Starke said...
Mario toys in happy meals?

What is this? The nineteen-nineties??
Blogger bjkoot said...
lmao, good old ukr humour:)
Blogger accelaexp said...
nintendo never would have written such dirty words ! you liar !!
my dalmatian is crying right now ! this is your fault !!!
Blogger logophony said...
You're not serious about wanting to rape Cream's bottom? Knowing UKR is there makes me feel less bad when I look inside myself and find something icky (introspectively, not with a mirror or anything).
Blogger Richie said...
Oooh Good point logophony! If McDs brought out similar toys for Sonic (i.e. Cream) could you imagine what this post would be like... the sounds of Zorg ejaculating could probably heard as far as US resistance.

I petition you McDs to bring out these toys just for the sake of the downright depravity of the UK:R post.
Blogger phorenzik said...
They should have done a 'Peach's pocket fanny'>
Blogger Enough_Rope said...
That was fucking hilarious. Props to the sender.

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