"In case you weren't aware yet, McDonalds in America has made a deal with Nintendo to make six Nintendo-themed toys for their Happy Meals, asking kids to "Take The Mario Challenge" (whatever the fuck that means). However, it would appear to anyone clever enough to see through Nintendo's paper-thin disguise that the "toys" are actually sex aids for the kids' parents and "Take The Mario Challenge" translates directly to "Let Mario And His Friends Help You Jizz All Over Your C&A Jogging Bottoms".
"Please find enclosed photos of the three most dubious items."
"A Mario 'ball', clearly small enough to be inserted into the anus for
homosexual male stimulation."
"A Yoshi 'lickout machine' (with another free anal ball), which allows you to have everyone's favourite dinosaur give your lady friend a cheeky gobble, with his upper snout clearly used to agitate the clitoris.
"A Yoshi 'wank mate', designed to wrap firmly (yet gently) around the shaft of the penis, allowing you to pretend you're getting chugged off by a stupid wee green bastard with a squeaky voice.
"I hope you will all join me in "Taking The Mario Challenge" by grabbing a hold of young Yoshi and giving the old boy a jolly sound thrashing."
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
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MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. THIS WEEK'S ILL ADVISED ATTEMPT AT MAKING A VIDEOG... SEGA GRAFFITI FROM AROUND THE WORLD NINTENDO PROVIDES PHOTOSHOP PORN COMMUNITY WITH MO... AN OFFICIAL STATEMENT ON SONIC RIVALS MOBILE PHONE SAINT'S ROW IS, AMAZINGLY, ABOUT EARN... ALL OF THE PHOTOS WE GOT SENT ON AUGUST 16 AND 17,... THIS IS THE DEPRESSING LEVEL OF THINGS WE GET SENT... EMPLOYEE OF ONCE EVERY 3.175 WEEKS IGN UK ASSEMBLES WORLD'S GREATEST COLLECTION OF CL...
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
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FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
What is this? The nineteen-nineties??
my dalmatian is crying right now ! this is your fault !!!
:'((((
I petition you McDs to bring out these toys just for the sake of the downright depravity of the UK:R post.