UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
Bring on the spurned! Now that Gizmondo has been revealed as the senior management cash-hoovering disgrace that it was always clearly designed to be, the poor, disgruntled staff are breaking cover with their tales.

Our first Gizmondo employee to speak - hopefully the first of many - is anonymous anonymous person 'Mr Anonymous' (not his real name).

These words were typed in by an actor.
Hi! I was working in QA at Gizmondo for 8 months before getting offered a new job 3 days before they fired us all :)

I dunno if this will be of any interest to you but you might be amused to hear that I got paid late on about 5 of those months because they just didn't have the money to pay us (apart from that one time their bank manager made a mistake and they showed us all a copy of the letter from the bank manager so we would actually believe them). So for about a week every month or so, the Gizmondo QA department among others would refuse to do any work until we got paid. Some of us had to borrow money from petty cash just to afford to make it into work on several occasions.

When I joined it was a whole development studio (used to be Warthog) and they had some cool sounding games in production which probably would have been the best games on there, but obviously when they realised no money was coming in after the launch they thought making good games was going to be too expensive and 'downsized' by firing their developers leaving just a rather demoralised QA department.

Other than that, we all had a hilarious time hearing about the CEO paying his wife for marketing consultancy and paying us out of his own pocket when funds were low. Especially when we then later read headlines like "Former Gizmondo executive's mafia convictions revealed"! Of course any news we heard about the company's finances ended up on the internet long before we were told anything.

As for the games, I think the only game I really enjoyed playing was SSX which is probably better on every other platform anyway. It's a shame they never got chance to release the augmented reality games using the camera cause they were ace. Or you know... finishing their flagship game Colours might have helped their sales a bit. Everyone likes GTA clones!

Also please say hi to all the great people from Gizmondo QA who all read this site religiously!

Keep me anonymous please, I'm not sure what I can still be sued for...

Thanks, Mr Anonymous (not his real name)! Did YOU work for Gizmondo? If so, please get in touch. We'd particularly like to hear from the following:
  • Anyone who used to work in the shop, particularly the people who said they remember the day we came in to take our photos and are apparently blaming UKR for killing the console.

  • Anyone who used to post on the official Gizmondo forum - to this day we remain convinced you were all paid employees embarking upon rudimentary "viral marketing".

  • Anyone else who got bummed by the Gizmondo scam. Bulletproof anonymity assured.
  • Blogger Koston said...

    what a nice car

    "Of course I was speeding! I've drunk 10 pints!!"
    Blogger capt_jax said...
    Hang on, 'Mafia connections' + 'UKR killed the console'

    You may have to move and get those French docs to give youa new face Zorg.
    Blogger accelaexp said...
    i've worked for Geez Mundo, a sex shop in Paris (Pigalle), and yes, the mafia was behind the deal.
    i cant say anything more though.
    Blogger secret admirer said...

    I know who the poster of this message is. Being a close friend and all.

    I can fully vouch for the comments made here and I look back with teary eyes when I think of all the japes we had at gizmondo.

    Although I worked for Gizmondo for almost 200 lifetimes (atleast that what it feels like) I never really felt that I was doing a real job. The games that would occasionally fin their way on to my desk would be half heartedly looked at for a few minutes and then tossed to one side. It was quite unbelievable just how bad the software for that machine was. Even the 3DO had samurai showdown and the jaguar had tempest 2000. What did Gizmondo have? was it supposed to be colors? fuck knows.

    Well, to sum up, I am gobsmacked that gizmondo lasted as long as it did. On a positive note, I can't wait to see the Gizmondo 2! hopefully my old job will still be open.
    Blogger Xephon said...
    The mafia? Aren't UKR worried they'll wake up to horses heads and mumbling mafiosa bosses calling then in for "a chat"? Or are you already paid up on your protection?

    Do you drive? The ex-boss has already crashed twice...coincidence??
    Blogger aporkalypse said...
    Didn't Warthog make Mace Griffin? That game should have been so much better than it was.
    Blogger Joe said...
    Perhaps you could dump ROMs of all the unfinished games for everyone to 'quality assure'! I'm sure UKR would be happy to host them, Zorg teeters on the brink of libel and slander charges most days now.
    Blogger gnome said...
    Makes a 100% sense... And give the people the roms...
    Blogger Xephon said...
    "...Zorg teeters on the brink of libel and slander charges most days now."

    Comm. Zorg-the Ian Hislop for our generation!

    Or not.

    Yes, please show us the unfinished games, so we can see "what could've been."
    Blogger Tomleecee said...
    So has the Gizmondo finally had the plug pulled? The website is still suggesting new releases may be imminent and that 'Colours' looks like it might be a half decent GTA clone...can anyone who's got one comment on it's quality? I'm intrigued by it...but then again, I was that person who bought a

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