Proper web sites also place grabs between large chunks of text so the feature looks nicer.
How's the PS2 version of Coast 2 Coast going to look compared to the arcade-perfect GENIUS MAJESTY of last year's Xbox OutRun2? (Don't lie and say it's going to be awesome if it isn't, because we'll be able to tell and then you'll look bad.)
Sol: If we hid the pads, and did some Pepsi challenge thing, then it would be split down the board I reckon. There are some subtle differences due to each consoles in-ability to do things the same way, but you've got to be some obsessed arcade fanatic with no social connections or a life to be able to really tell. Or work at Sumo - which is pretty much the same thing.
When we inevitably compare the PS2 version to the Xbox version, what are we going to say are the main differences? (Bear in mind we HATE SONY like an abusive step-dad, so will pick up any minor differences and say they're really big and obvious.)
Sol: Reds are a bit redder. Something to do with bridge rectifiers. I was told about that by this American chap I spoke to on a forum once. Fog might be slightly less foggy - or foggier. Bloom (which is a fancy word for sunlight burning into the back of the retina) is slightly different - but shouldn't make anyone weep over it. Biggest difference is the controllers, but we've tweaked them with the help of AM2 to keep the right feel and control.
How do you go about converting an Xbox-based arcade game to PS2? Keep this brief, as no one's really interested in knowing about this apart from us.
Sol: It's like re-packing your suitcase after two weeks on holiday. Although you should have the same amount of stuff, it doesn't seem to want to go back in. Even if you've worn all the booze and drunk all the suntan. You just have to shut the lid and jump on it, or in our case, jump on the textures and models a bit. And music. And code. And other stuff. You're not supposed to start a sentence with 'And' are you. But like that. Except it has to look the same, unlike a very squashed hat.
***THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION OF THEM ALL***
Will the Xbox version work on Xbox 360? This is the most important question of them all, so please answer it like this is a serious interview for somewhere proper like IGN or Edge.
Sol: Backwards compatibility is not something that works from our code - rather Microsoft has developed a software emulator that should make this happen at some point in the future. Should that be the case, it will be downloaded on Live or by visiting the Xbox.com website. I think at the moment the emulator doesn't work with all games but Microsoft say they are going to fix it so everything works eventually. So we don't know really; it's out of our hands.
How's it going to look on PSP? Surely it's an IMPOSSIBLE TASK? It's like signing a contract to get an elephant in a shoebox! It's a poisoned chalice, surely?
Sol: It looks quite a lot like the screens on the web mostly. Runs at a fair lick of knots too. We've been squishing stuff into the PSP for a while (shameless plug for TOCA, Virtua Tennis and Go! Sudoku) so it's like a comfortable chair. Not quite one of those lazy boy ones, something a bit smaller and a bit shiner perhaps. I will demand some eating of hats on a few forums when it's out - from those non-believers.
This is OR2006 on PSP. We've played it, but aren't allowed to 'review it' yet, especially not on the internet. They'd go MENTAL if we did that! We can probably get away with saying something vague like "what we've seen of it so far looks really fucking good and smooth and awesome" though.
Don't people just use PSPs for watching porn on these days anyway?
Sol: Maybe if you've got strong wrists, I can't hold it one handed.
Can you play Coast 2 Coast on PSP's digital pad? Only the analogue stick thing's a bit rubbish and isn't placed very well. It'd probably work better on the d-pad. Just a thought. It's not like you really need analogue for OutRun.
Sol: You can use the D-Pad - you won't be getting top times on the online ranks as you can turn some mean times with the nub. Nub, there's a good word.
Is Richard Jacques doing any new music for Coast 2 Coast?
Sol: His "Euro Remixes" from OutRun2 are included but unfortunately that's it. We felt he couldn't possibly top those aural sensations... Plus he is working on some other top secret Sega stuff. There is some new music provided by the original Japanese composer though.
Have you met Richard? If so WHAT IS HE LIKE?! He seems really nice!
Sol: Can't really tell - we're tried shouting to him through his letter box once but all we heard were muffled cries and sobs.
What did you talk about?
Sol: It was hard to tell, something about us going far away is about all we could work out.
What was he wearing? Go into as much detail as possible, especially about his trousers.
Sol: Damnit, you broke us. Can't say really, last time the closest we got was downloading the files from Sega. I imagine he's really smartly dressed but with pop star hair. I bet he hangs round with top models and smokes fags with a cigarette holder. In fact I think I hate him for that.
Going back to the game, can you tell us anything about your new content?
Sol: Err, it's got some new Ferraris in it and there's no rain. It would suck if you had enough money to own an open topped Ferrari and went on a road trip and all it did was rain, so we left that out. Also, no-one seems to grasp that every platform is online, PSP too. 6 players, you don't even have to have that many friends; OutRun will go out and make them for you. If you've played the Arcade to death, then there is even new tuned up versions of the cars, done with the help of Ferrari. Open top Enzo sir? 4:18 on Route A without breaking a sweat. Now that's fast. There is also a load of other stuff in there, but best not ruin it.
Xbox OutRun2's Mission Mode was really, really good and we completed it all-- what are you doing this time? You can definitely tell us, it's out in a few weeks. Even if Sega says you're not allowed to tell us, you can still tell us. It's OK. Really.
Sol: We hope to divide opinion once again on the mission mode. We've split the missions into Heart Attack type stuff and Racing missions, as we know not everyone likes the same things as us. We've added kittens and lions as well as the obligatory fruit and there's even a beach ball to dribble. We've also kept the maths, because we like watching people's faces contort when we watch them play it in Dixons. Plus you get the Flag Man telling you what to do. You could imagine him there dancing whilst he does it.
Going back to Richard Jacques, did he mention UKR at all?
Sol: I'm sure if we ever have a conversation, that would be the thing to break the ice. Me saying 'Is it fun being stalked by the internet' and him laughing jovially whilst nodding at the models we imagine he hangs around with to go and warm up the getaway car.
Xbox OutRun2 got a bit jerky on Xbox Live sometimes. Is that something you can fix "your end" or is it a general Xbox Live issue that we're going to be stuck with forever until they invent a better kind of internet?
Sol: We can't really help it if some peasants with a steam powered internet connection log onto Live and host games. There is some stuff we've fettled with to make it better - we'll find out about 5 minutes after it hits the shops if people on the forums start moaning that it's lagging on their 56K modems.
What sort of PC will we need to make it look super-awesome? Our PC is a Dell from two years ago and we don't know what the graphics card is -- will it work on that?
Sol: We're waiting for someone to send us some really good PCs - like Alienware or someone, so we can say that those are the ones you'll need, hopefully seeing a cut of the profits. In the meantime we're making do with trying to keep the spec to something sensible - couple of Gig processor, half a gig of ram and recent video card. If it runs DirectX 9 stuff there is a good chance it will work. You could try running it on a 486 if it's got AGP, but it would be like receiving a series of postcards of someone driving into walls.
This is what PC games usually look like. Imagine how excited PC gamers will be when they get OutRun 2006! It'll be like when we first got a Mega Drive.
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW?
Each post .02% worse than the last.
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand.
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass.
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near.
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend.
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny.
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary.
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.