You should check out the movie, it makes this look good.
This is the HHGL's fictional representation of the video games media. This is quite possibly the most wrong thing we've ever seen. For a start, there's girls there and no one is morbidly obese and avoiding eye contact by staring at their notepads.
E3 isn't really like this at all. In fact, you could describe it as the "polar opposite".
Is she the new staff writer on teamxbox.com, or a hired actress?
If we were being cynical, we might suggest it's all just a marketing circle-wank organised by companies with too much money to spend on targeting imaginary demographics.
Next week is "Sprite Draft Week".
The entire video disaster can be seen here. We sort of stole this link from Spong, but only because they said we should "do something on it".
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
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MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. GIZMONDO SHOP BOARDED UP AS GOD INTENDED NOW'S AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY TO LAUNCH OUR PS3 LIES... DO WE LIKE JAPAN OR NOT THIS WEEK? OUTRUN 2006 COAST TO COAST INTERVIEW -- IN WHICH W... IN WHAT ORDER ARE WE GOING TO EAT THE BODY PARTS O... THE FUTURE OF HOME ENTERTAINMENT HAS ARRIVED! *EXC... CONFERENCES WE'RE THINKING OF ORGANISING FRAG DOLLS TO 'SPEAK' AT WOMEN IN GAMES EVENT GOOGLE VIDEO HORROR GAMING PORN THINGS WE'VE BEEN SENT FOR THE "MAIN PAGE"
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
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FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
Grotesque.
Also, anyone who refers to themselves in the third person (even if they are a rap 'star') IS A CUNT.
And after putting most of what he said through a translator...what exactly is supposed to be so amazing about this thing anyway? A bunch of gits are going to play crap games online in a tournament? Wowzers indeed!
All this Hip Hop gaming talk has gone right to my head...
Snoop, you must have been totally wankered when you agreed to do this.
note to Tommyleecee, marindaning is what you do before stuff goes in the oven