In desperation we ordered a flashcard so we could download ROMs for free to play on it, in order to avoid having to spend more money on the thing in the future. And we are pleased to report this list of games that are INDEED WORTH PLAYING on the TG-16, and how you should buy one immediately!
1. The conversion of Shinobi. Better than the Master System version even if it is REALLY HARD. Might be Japan-only, though. Yeah, it is.
2. This really weird hybrid puzzle/shooter game called Somer Assault (GET IT? "SOMERSAULT"!). It's quite the peach and we're trying it beat it. You play as a purple slinky dropped down from heaven BY GOD HIMSELF and must battle monsters based on the 12 signs of the zodiac. More on this as the story develops.
A MAJOR TRAVESTY:
They ported Power Drift to it! Fucking Power Drift! Did they forget that the TG-16 is an NES with a really nice graphics chip? It's not like we're crazy about the game or anything, but we like the arcade version and knew THE SECOND WE COPIED OVER THE ROM that it would be total crap because the original has sprites scaling and rotating at breakneck speed, something the PCE could not do, no matter how many copies of Ys Book I and II you throw at it. UK:R gives Power Drift on the TG-16 (or perhaps PC-Engine since it was a Japan only release, thank god) a 3/10.
And don't let anyone tell you the conversion of Out Run is better than the Genesis/Mega Drive version. It's not.
Labels: ENTHUSIASM
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
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What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS MONTH: IN-GAME OPTION MENU ... SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS MONTH: VIDEO ADJUST OPTION SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS: CONTROLLER CONFIGURATION D... ANOTHER UK GAMES SHOW THAT WON'T MAKE IT TO A SECO... SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS: CONTROLLER CONFIGURATION C... SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS: CONTROLLER CONFIGURATION B... THINGS THAT BOTHER US ABOUT THE INTERNET #1 PARTIALLY AMUSING DOUBLE ENTENDRE FOUND ON GAME CA... JUST IN: MIYAMOTO PERHAPS NOT THE GENIUS EVERYONE ... BITS OF THE WORLD THAT STILL HAVE SEGA SYMBOLISM O...
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Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
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It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
FAKE. TANKED. LAMENESS. DID NOT IMPRESS. 3/10.
Must be a post by The Swill Man!
Stop posting! YOU AREN'T FUNNY!
I WANT TO BELIEVE.
I can make words go all big like swill man can, therefore this must be a good comment.
And the Americanisms are out of place in a website with 'UK' in the title.
Photoboy (the game not me) is also worth a play, and the PCE version of SF2 is the only one I'm any good at so I quite like that one too. And of course the PCE version of R-Type was brilliant.
MORE SEGA SUPERSTARS related POSTS please.
The PCE version of OutRun is pretty good though... never had it for the MEGA DRIVE.
Don't ever call it Genesis..
what happened to her anyway?
I take it she was driven out with pitchforks?
To address your angry utterances- I am quite aware that the post contains little "funny" material in comparison to other articles on here. This particular post is oriented towards "serious journalism".
Also, has anyone noticed that it says "special report" in the title? That means I had to write it quickly to get it out there. And plus it was written during a fit of sheer boredom.
And I also agree that I capitalized too many words in there. It dampens the overall effect when you overuse it.
But don't worry! The SHEER COMEDY TRAIN that is The Swill Man is gonna keep on going!
And going...
And going...
And going...
Now that was funny.
Really I can understand, when I was your age I wrote the same stuff...see?
It was shit. That's why I stopped.
I wasn't that good.
Neither are you.
Come to this conclusion now.
^_^
i didn't even notice that anyone other than jax and zorg ever posted, but i was wondering what was with these odd articles taht didn't really fit into the whole UK:R type of humor.
i'm just going to put it nicely: swill, i'm not a fan.
I cannot believe I just read this. On a diehard Sega site no less. Goodbye forever.
Oh fuck...
Word Verification: rjctklmd - Although not yet a real word it's possibly the only way to describe the Swill Man until we invent a word better then cunt.
http://ukpforum.com/?mode=entry&id=21671
Pig Swill in person:
http://pop.youtube.com/watch?v=XSH6ah_bjI4
Q: Why was the chicken unable to cross the road?
A: It got a cerebral hemorrhage from Swillman's posts, and died in the ambulance on its way to the hospital.
That's funny. You're not.
BAN MAC FANS!! did anyone see this? hohoh its HILARIOUS!! http://pop.youtube.com/watch?v=XSH6ah_bjI4
:/
Give it up, and bugger off. Don't take it personally. Or do take it personally, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that you go away.
I suspect Swillman has been brought in to give Zorg time to play on Sega Superstar Tennis whilst still keeping the blog regularly updated. Or he's got something BIG on Zorg and he's trying to keep him quiet...
Anyway : the PC-Engine was created for the unique purpose of receiving Parasol Star.
(Parodius, SuperStar Soldier, Final Soldier and Devil Crush are ok)
(Now that I think, this console was far better than this Super Nintendo pile of wank, whose two only decent game were F-Zero, and Castlevania IV)
zxzhcor : ZX-Hardore a 12,5 bit speccy prototype by Clive Sinclair. Designed to conquer the console market (recycling QL hardware).
Fuck off, Swill Man. Jesus H shitting Christ, I used to enjoy this site, but now when I refresh, it's with the fear that you'll have posted some utter crap about how you loved niche console xx.
It's not the early 90s any longer, go away, and never return, please.
Remember: I am the second person to sign up with the sole intention of telling you to fuck off. Stop ruining UK:R.
*download*
*play for 5 seconds*
"Crap"
*delete*
*rinse & repeat*
Please stop - don't take it personally, writing a funny blog is hard.
Many of us have tried. I am a professional (well, paid at least) copywriter and I've tried - and failed - several times to keep an amusing blog up.
Please - go!
Since you've gotta go, since you've gotta go...
GO. NOW!
Pick a story and stick to it.
The options you present are
a) It was serious journalism
b) You had to write it quickly so it was shit
Let's look at these...
Serious Journalism
Well, it just wasn't, was it? Not by any definition I am aware of.
Time-Pressed
Possible, but based on your other posts, you are always knocking shit out in 2 minutes as it is never amusing.
So, with these two excuses for the shitness of your post presented, I conclude that you are just shit.
Please start your own blog.
Swillmanisaseriousjournalist.wordpress.com is available currently.
xxx
Also, since when did this become US:RESISTANCE ?
You unfunny fuck.
This is fact.
But: The Swill Man does not belong here.
"The SHEER COMEDY TRAIN that is The Swill Man is gonna keep on going!"
I think he's heading for Hatfield.
Anyone?
It has been a while now, admittedly. Let's take some time to go through the archives. Remind ourselves of the times when UK:R could be relied upon to be funny.
And then never visit again, so long as this cunt is allowed to keep posting.
1. Evertime I mention the MegaDrive/Genesis I make sure to call it the Megadrive or use both terms. That's because the great majority of the readers of these blogs are from across the pond from me...
2. You tagged a post with the word ENTHUSIASM in all caps? That's so beyond lame...Are you an 11 year old girl? Why do that???
3. And no pictures? If you had added some screen captures or something...
...This has got to be a joke right?
There is no way UKR would let someone like this post here.
America Denies you Swillman...
You have brought shame to our nation...I truly thought that we couldn't get any lower...
Also, I'll use words that Americans don't use like 'willy' and 'minge'
Getting each other all worked up into a right pickle aren't we.
The comments section lynch mob are marching up castle UKR with burning torches as we speak.
Maybe deploying phorenzik as guest blogger for a couple of weeks will calm things down a bit. Phorenzik gets my vote... albeit at the bottom of this ugly heap of comments.
Oh you UK people with your slang so different from proper Americanized dialect…you crack me up.
To be this hated takes Swill Man
HAHAHAHAHA!
Phorenzik for king!
This is why I voted BNP.
it's not like it's much worse than the other stuff, really.
Oh wait.. uh.. dumb yank!
There, hopefully that brings us back into balance
And I chose a Turbo Duo over the Sega CD. 300 bucks and one came with a ton of kickass games. Sega's? Not so much.
Later on the Sega CD had a few good games like Terminator CD (best game music ever), and such, but in the end all the Sega CD is notable for was being the beginning of the end of Sega.
Do we really want to remember the start of the Dark Times? The reminder we STILL don't have the Sega Ages remakes of Dragon Force, Phantasy Star 1 AND Phantasy Star 2?
And Sonic? Jesus.. who wants to recall such horror?
In the middle of a thread of rampant anti-americanism that has already seen several people metaphorically stoned for using the name "Genesis"?
Dear oh dear.
And then came Galaxy Force with its spin around cabinet and I supped with Shub Nuggarath himself THE GOAT WITH A THOUSAND YOUNG!