UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
This is an "Xbox 360 Brand Film"!

In it, people popular with youths -- or people Microsoft thinks are popular with youths -- read scripted segments of dialogue about how Xbox 360 lets you "watch your photos of b-boys and breakers, and also your honeys" (ACTUAL QUOTE!).

Here are a few grabs of the "Xbox 360 Brand Film". Download the whole movie at the bottom:

Xbox 360 SHAME

We're not going to rip the piss out of this break-dancing, DJ-scratching, pikey-movie too much -- it really would be too easy. Maybe we'll do a proper piss-ripping update in a year or two, once the Xbox 360 launch heat's died down a bit.

TRANSLASTION: Xbox 360 is cool, like break-dancing

Here, a man talks about Xbox 360. For some reason, there's another man break-dancing in the background. Is this what teenagers do these days?

TRANSLASTION: Cool people like skateboarders like Xbox 360

This man is a skateboarder. He calls Xbox 360 a playground.

TRANSLASTION: MCs and even girls like Xbox 360

This is jail-bait MC Lady Sovereign saying "I'm well excited man, yeah" (those were her ACTUAL WORDS!). She also says "I like racing games and beat em ups". This is so urban.


Then a youth starts break-dancing in front of an Xbox 360 logo, as some scratching DJ plays a track that goes "Yo, yo, y-y-yo" over the top. It's like an Ali G rip-off!

TRANSLASTION: The script was approved and edited by Microsoft

This man, Tim Watkins, says putting stickers on his Xbox 360 symbolises "human energy". Which is an amazing coincidence, as "human energy" was also one of Microsoft's key marketing phrases it outlined at the Xbox 360 unveiling at E3!

TRANSLASTION: Xbox 360 comes with a joypad

This is pro footballer Shaun Wright-Philips deadpanning "The Xbox 360 is all about control" (those were his ACTUAL WORDS.)


Then there's loads more skateboarding, with the camera zooming in and out really quickly. Teenagers love all that shit!

TRANSLASTION: Footballers like it, and you're supposed to be impressed by that

"When I go away with England and with Chelsea we normally just carry them, we put them in our bags, and we're on it for a couple of hours" OBVIOUSLY LIES Shaun Wright-Philips while playing FIFA 06 on Xbox 1!

TRANSLATION: Someone's dad made this

This is someone else break-dancing in front of an Xbox 360 logo. Youth culture is now totally bewildering to us. And, we suspect, to whoever made this film.


Our "main job" involves sometimes having to look people from Microsoft in the eyes. It's going to be hard after seeing this :(

TRANSLATION: Absolute madness

Download the WORST FILM EVER here [2.9MB WMV file].

This is a big file, which will probably break the web site if everyone downloads it all now in the next five minutes. So we suggest people with surnames starting with the letters A to K download it today, and people with surnames from L to Z download it tomorrow.

Also, if you're in an office, maybe only one person could download it and make everyone gather round, instead of everyone downloading it individually? It would really help. And can all people from America wait until the weekend, please? It's very "UK urban" and you won't really understand if it's serious or a joke, like everything we do. Thank you.
Blogger gobby81 said...
Surely none of the hip hop, pikey, chav yoof that this is aimed at can afford an Xbox anyway? is it really in Microsofts best interests to encourage them to go out and shoplift one ? (if there are any in the shops to lift that is)
Blogger Dowbocop said...
I swear the girl miaows halfway that video...
Blogger Cyber Razor Cut said...
What do you want to steal today?
Blogger Stewart said...
Oooh, I can change the faceplate! It's good for DVDs! We carry them around when touring or whatever freeloading nonsense they're up to.

That said, I'd overexcitedly and lie about how I really enjoy mediocre games from a free one. A premium one, mind you. Not the cripple pack.
Blogger eagle said...
puting stickers on a games console isn't realy customising!
Blogger accelaexp said...
hey eagle, you american !
info: the stickers thing was actually a joke.
Blogger Peter Gasston said...
It's like watching 'The Word'.
Blogger SMEGHaMMeR said...
That guy in the last picture looks like some failed senior sales rep...

He was "too hip" for finances.
Blogger Raton said...
Someont uses the expression "Bling bling" in this, I swear to God.
Blogger Joe said...
'I've got mates in Australia, I'm just gonna ring 'em up and say 'You fancy a game or what?''

They live in Australia, they're probably fucking ASLEEP.

Also, a presumably 'yoof' oriented man informs us that the Xbox 360 is all about him 'being in control', as footage shows him falling off his skateboard. How apt.
Blogger xxpirateninjaxx said...
being an american, i can honestly say


seriously brits are crazy
Blogger DrMurko said...
I cannot actually believe that a professional marketing/PR agency could create somehting like this. Likewise, I cannot believe that a serious business like Microsoft green-lighhted this.
Then again, I also remember Nokia's N-Gage (and it's subsequent campaign).
Blogger S.F.R said...
At least someone is trying to encourage those clever folks to stay indoors.

Shame there is no clip of some argos-bejeweled goblin saying 'This is well better than hanging around McDonalds on saturday night drinking white lighting man'
Man why did they produce this shit. Someone in marketing is sooooo down with the kids. X Box 360 is sooooo bangin init!

All that was missing was someone throwing up and smashing a bus shelter!
This makes me feel old.

Old, but mentally and morally superior.
Blogger blgr said...
For the sake of your bandwidth
Blogger shaun said...
Its like 2.9Meg
I wonder how much it cost for the "celebrities" :P
Totally wrong target audience as usual yeah games so cool now he plays em, whose idea was it to put the miaowing scally in, always wonder about marketing people :S
Blogger AppleFanboi said...
"something you can play your ipod through"

or your zune. i bet all the gangsta kids have those, too.
Blogger raul said...
its like a game system in a box

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