Yes, whatever you say, Shiggy. We'd like to introduce you all to this- a homemade port of Super Mario World to the NES made by some enterprising Asian hackers:
It is, sadly, the only NES game we really like, as we don't have the attention span for things like Contra or Rad Racer. This has caused a life-long alienation from internet forums where people sit around and talk about how great the NES is/was.
Labels: LIES
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
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MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS MONTH: AN INTERVIEW WITH RI... SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS MONTH: UMPIRE SELECTION SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS MONTH: A LOOK AT THE LOADIN... SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS MONTH: THE CARING GAME THAT... SUDDENLY IT BECAME MONEY WELL SPENT (A SPECIAL REP... SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS MONTH: IN-GAME OPTION MENU ... SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS MONTH: VIDEO ADJUST OPTION SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS: CONTROLLER CONFIGURATION D... ANOTHER UK GAMES SHOW THAT WON'T MAKE IT TO A SECO... SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS: CONTROLLER CONFIGURATION C...
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
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FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
I don't give a flying fuck what Miyamoto has ever said about anything.
Did you think that you'd add a speech bubble to try and appeal to the UK:R readers? Here's a tip you fucking twat, it only works if you type something FUNNY in there.
And for fucks sake, stop calling it a Genesis.
I'm sure your new fad of downloading ROMs will soon die out by the time you hit 18 and discover that you're a homosexual.
Zorg used to gaily point out how unbearable this sort of agonisingly trite writing is. Now it's on his site!
Please, for the love of God, stop.
Why has this stuff got to be scrawled all over one of the internet's very few genuinely funny websites?
1) ROM hacks are usually not able to run on real NES hardware, only on emulators. So the central premise of your merry little waste of my time is incorrect.
3) No one has ever had the shit scared out of them by the giant Bullet Bill. That's just you by yourself, like everything else in your life.
4) Please go away.
5) Who's the "we" you keep referring to? See the second sentence in point 3, you bollocks.
6) Sceptical is spelt with a C not a K you fuckwit. That applies to any Americans reading too.
I feel negligibly better now. Fuck, it's already worn off.
swill man is still shit though.
I'm glad it's not just me that this has been irritating. As per usual, I could tell it was a swill post solely by the tiresome post title and first line or two, what with all the 'us' and 'we'.
Actually, the entire concept of a front page full of essentially saying how great Super Mario World was, is starting to convince me this is some kind of EGM style 'april fools joke done months before its time'. Those seem to be pretty popular in America.
Not here though, Swill. Go away, please.
Well fuck me.
I'm having some kind of freakout.
I came here after checking I was still winning on an eBay Sonic Baseball Jacket, and expecting something as awesome as the awesome RJ interview and I find Mario love, thinly-veiled by Miyamoto hate.
Fucking hell on a tricycle.
I also took the picture in a nice big resolution.
Word Varification - Mygma - Smegma left over on your cock when you fuck your mum
I mean, seriously, a speech bubble? A fucking speech bubble?
I want to apologize on behalf of decent Americans everywhere for all he has put you through. Except for his use of Genesis instead of Mega Drive. Genesis is a better console name, period, perhaps even the best console name of all time. This is not up for debate.
You can stop now.
Please?
Garry, this has gone on long enough. End it, please.
Things like the constant and annoying use of "we" like "We'd like to introduce you all to this", the American spellings and the continual references to Genesis despite repeated complaints about it make me think this is all just Zorg playing a game. I mean surely if Swill Man was real he'd have killed himself after all the complaints about his last effort!
http://swillbored.blogspot.com/
http://www.youtube.com/TheSwillMan
Ho does exist, and needs to be hounded off the internet posthaste.
I love you.
http://adventuresofswill.blogspot.com/
ougaarek - it's probably Klingon for something or other
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
User:Theswillman
It would be sad if any changed it!
I constantly am addicted to updating it. So it would make me VERY MAD
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Unfunny
Ignore him/tune him out, and maybe he'll slit his wrists.
Roll on the Phorenzik era...
POST THA ROM!
POST THA ROM!
etc....
But post the rom please...
http://cah4e3.shedevr.org.ru/dumping/2005/smwfull.rar
See if you can beat it... I'm stuck in one of the castles...
a)"his is something that's been bothering us for quite a while now. We remember reading a quote by Shigeru Miyamoto about..."
Look here: I can say that, Zorg can say that and many people on this site can say that. Because it would have been a good story if it actually had been bothering you since the 90s. Problem is: you were BORN on the ninties, not bothered. Your chumminess is false and not accepted.
b) Couldn't you get to the point a little faster? Like in a single paragraph? I know The Onion writes long reports and that John Stewart can go on rambling about something -say governors and hookers- for quite a while, but they manage to keep our attention introducing new elements used to get the joke to a new level. You don't.
So please, instead of basking on your shit and the hate your stink is producing, why not reread why you are writing and try to do something good?
And Zorg, if you are really hosting a Writer's Academy with UKR practices why didn't you advertise it? I'd say the best bidder on Ebay -1,35 euros for a dozen articles- couldn't have been worse.
Please fuck off, boy.
We hate you because you're oblivious to the dozens of answers on this page alone.
...Great.
I dunno maybe he thought this post would be acceptable because he was talking about Nintendo "lies"?
But then he goes on and praises a rom which he later admits is broken and buggy.
So I dunno. A sloppy post dealing with a broken Nintendo Rom dressed up as apporpriate for URK because it's about a "Nintendo lie".
In turn this whole article is useless because (as previousely commented) it's a ROM not a real game running on real hardware...no reason to read this story unless you are a NES fanboy or a ROM enthusist.
Srsly funny.
A great parody blog! I commend you! I don't think anyone else bothered to click the link though, because nobody wants to click a link supposedly by the swill man.
I mean at least this time he put up pictures...but all in all it was a post about a buggy NES Rom.
Trying to link this article to regular UKR fare by calling it an article about "lies" is stupid because it's a Rom not a real cart.
This is not the amusing UKR stuff I look for when I come here.
What is it with the 'April Fools' theory? It doesn't make any sense.
of course, jax and zorg actually put FUNNY THINGS in the speech bubbles.
TheSwillMan - Piss off too. You aren't fooling anyone.
Because his first update that I noticed was some retrogaming TurboGrafx(?) shit.
We all know that retro gamers are overweight, lonely, and forever playing Tron. You told us that UK:R.
PS. Genesis rocks more than Mega Drive. Or something.