MICROSOFT TROTS OUT OLDEST CLICHE IN BOOK FOR XBOX 360 LAUNCH
They're using that one about dinners in pill form, hover cars and robots to illustrate the future. You remember, the one Jesus used in THE BIBLE.
The thing that annoys us most about this is the "free-thinking new media agency" who made this email were probably paid at least ten grand for doing something we could do (a) better, (b) in ten minutes, and (c) for fifty quid, a copy of Gotham 3 and a pat on the head and being told we're a good boy.
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. REJECTED IDEA WEEK! #7: THE PREDICTIVE TEXT CONUND... REJECTED IDEA WEEK! #6: A GAME CALLED 'YOGURTING' REJECTED IDEA WEEK! #5: NINTENDO'S RUBBISH US ADVE... REJECTED IDEA WEEK! #4: SOMETHING ABOUT 'SUDOKU' REJECTED IDEA WEEK! #3: 'POCKET DOGS' REJECTED IDEA WEEK! #2: THE GAMER DATING SITE REJECTED IDEA WEEK! #1: THE 'WEIRDO' QUIZ OFFICIAL: NINTENDO CANCELS CHRISTMAS A CHRISTMAS JOKE WE THOUGHT UP ESPECIALLY FOR GIRL... THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
Which I am currently arranging for him.
Fat tounged twat.
1. 'Prepare to be blown away.' (nothing could prepare anyone LESS)
2. An 'incredible choice of gaming experiences' (the word 'incredible' once again elicits nothing but the most underwhelmed of reactions from the reader. And then the advert reveals that you can only choose between 'two' options anyway. Incredible.)
Having actually worked in marketing, though, I'm afraid that this sort of thing becomes second nature. So I think UKR should actually show us what they would put instead, to prove to the world that they are truly immune to the PR-bullshit virus.