NINTENDO DS AND AMERICA -- STILL STUCK IN THE 1980s
The old 'good versus evil' advertising scheme is rolled out once again, to help promote the Nintendo DS in the irony free land of America. How clever. How original. How UTTERLY TIRESOME AND USELESS!
She's "always in control" and likes "top and bottom" which is obviously a rubbish attempt at sounding sexy. This is the least sexy photo of a woman pretending to be sexy we've ever seen. Don't look at us, look at the screens. THE SCREENS.
Another cringe-worthy attempt at talking dirty. "Two is better than one" -- we're probably supposed to think that she might be talking about PENISES there. So what, Nintendo DS is for the gays?
"FREE MANUAL included" "WIPE my POSITION" "Use TWO STYLUSES" "I'm compatible with OTHER SYSTEMS" "I like it in EVERY SLOT" "I like to DO IT VIA THE NETWORK" "You don't need BATTERIES to have a good time" And so on etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc *Presses knife into skin to block out pain*
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW?
Each post .02% worse than the last.
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand.
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass.
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near.
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend.
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny.
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary.
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.