LEGITIMATE NEWS ABOUT MARIA SHARAPOVA
She's OFFICIALLY in PSP Virtua Tennis World Tour. Now we can upload EVERY PICTURE OF MARIA SHARAPOVA ON THE WHOLE INTERNET to celebrate, along with exclusive first impressions about how various bits of Maria might appear in the game.
THIS IS HER ARSE FROM REALLY CLOSE (this same arse will appear in Virtua Tennis, although we imagine it'll be a bit less rounded. ARSE SCORE: 9/10):
THESE ARE HER SWEATY TITS (they might look a bit like this in PSP Virtua Tennis World Tour thanks to the power of Sony's PSP! TITS SCORE: 8/10):
SHE HAS WIDE SHOULDERS LIKE A MODEL (She is strong, so you'll only need to press the button quickly to do a powerful shot, probably. SHOULDERS SCORE: 8/10):
SHE HAS LONG THIN LEGS LIKE A MODEL AND VERY SEXY FEET (Her legs are bound to be included in PSP Virtua Tennis, otherwise she'd be at a distinct disadvantage to other players. LEG SCORE: 8/10):
THIS IS HER HAIR (You won't be able to spunk in it, which is sadly what also happens in real life. HAIR SCORE: 6/10):
So there you have it! Proof of... of... nothing. We had fun finding the photos, that's all that counts.
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW?
Each post .02% worse than the last.
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand.
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass.
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near.
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend.
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny.
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary.
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.