MOBILE PHONE QUAKE -- REVIEWED
It's a mobile phone game, so it's obviously rubbish and doesn't work properly on a stupid phone keypad. 1/5.
And people moaned about having to play Quake III on a Dreamcast pad. Mobile games are as satisfying as a low fat vegetarian starter, and we'd rather be "Happy Slapped" to death on a bus by a gang of 12-year-olds with penknifes than play one.
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW?
Each post .02% worse than the last.
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand.
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass.
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near.
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend.
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny.
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary.
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.