Denying the SEGA holocaust since 1996

[UK:RESISTANCE]

[IDIOT TOYS]

HIGHLIGHTS
Oh, how we laughed! Maybe once or twice.

PSP Lie Watch - GT4 Mobile

Sega Park carpet!!

SEGA World Sydney 2

SEGA World, Sydney

SEGA's 1950s sexism

Being horrible about girls

Being nice about girls

*AMAZING* reader Cream porn

SEGA fruit machines

PS3 Lie Watch - Tekken 6

E3 2006 photos

PS3 Lie Watch - The PS3

How is Andy Crane?

Dreamcast bicycle!

The 'SEGA Rap'

OutRun2006 - a celebratory review

PS3 Lie Watch: Motorstorm

OutRun2 Coast2Coast screenshot guide

SEGA's sexy 1990s adverts

SEGA Homestar -- reviewed!

Sega Rally 2006 SHOULD NOT EXIST

Mobile Monkey Ball

Trying to buy an Xbox 360

Microsoft's 'urban youth' Xbox 360 movie

Xbox 360 launch party pics

Origen Zero Hour gonzo report

DoA movie trailer

An actual proper review of Ninja Gaiden Black

Afterburner Climax

Non-sexy PSP porn UMD reviewed

Blog does story about blog doing story (and repeat)

San Andreas class action... thing

More HOT LARA CROFT PORN!

Eminem is in the 50 Cent game :(

HUGE Nintendo DS design flaw discovered

Rolf Harris meets Sonic The Hedgehog

X360 mag reviewed

Nintendogs 'fake dog' photo shame

Joanna Dark's FHM airbrush shame

PSP 2.0 downgrade (a joke)

Miyamoto and puppies

Tokyo Game Show 2005

UK Frag Dolls REVIEWED by sexiness!

THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME

German PSP promo photos

Monkey Ball Sex SHAME

Sonic Team's new project!

New Xbox 360 magazine is 'rubbish'

Tomb Raider Legend PORN SICKNESS

Lan Party photos!!!

Everquest II models' 'pornstar' shame

UKR gaming clan launched!

Project Rub 2 pictures!

LCD and plasma HDTV guide for PS3 and Xbox 360

PSP Lumines 'fan fiction'

PSP Lumines 'sort of review'

GamesMaster visit!

Sega's Homestar

PS3 launch games confirmed!

Xbox 360 launch games revealed!

Trip Hawkins and his Atkins Diet thing

PHOTOS OF RICHARD JACQUES!!!

Great Jobs For Paedophiles

Ulala cosplay

Nokia N-Gage tester "hell"

World of Warcraft "girls"?

San Andreas "Hot Coffee" sex game mod

Stupid woman jealous of Lara Croft

Battle Raper 2 pics

E3 wheelchair groper

Gizmondo E3 booth babes

Sonic CD Superlovers

Fat kid "1337 h4x0r"

PS3 + Killzone 2 LIE WATCH!

Frag Dolls -- Reviewed!

Spurned employee RAMPAGE!

Visiting the Gizmondo shop

Seeing Playboy's Natalie Denning

EA Cricket 2005 'hilarity'

Xbox 360 photos?

"New Games Journalism" anti-manifesto

UKR -- The Mansion

A great Paris Hilton joke

GTA San Andreas Tetris

FIFA Street MP3

PSP battery jokes

Need for Speed Underground 2 HUMILIATION

Richard Jacques update

Kasumi's feet!

Kasumi's panties!

OutRun2, Doom 3 and Fable guide

50 reasons to buy OutRun2

OutRun2 'flag man'

What women drivers really say

Tron loser

PS2 EyeToy OutRun2

DoA Beach Volleyball wallpapers

A day trip to Sega!

ANONYMOUS GAMES INDUSTRY SLAGGING BEGINS!

This is amazing. The best thing we've ever been sent. Enjoy it before we're made to take it down!


Hello, you lovely UK-R people.

The Data Design employee letter prompted me to e-mail you about the time I spent with those shysters at Jester Interactive. We toiled on mostly music-related products and some unseen games (including a Dreamcast title called Hellgate, for which many still bare the scars of naivety and all-nighters due to our fear of "job dependancy deadlines"), and one of the "50th Fastest Growing Companies in Wales" almost never made it. Christmas 2001 - we were callled into the office while we joked "Haha! Merry Christmas, lads! You're sacked!". Well, guess what..? Yep, we were all sacked! Before Christmas! Haha! This was blamed on spending much money on Hellgate, but we liked to think it was more likely the £1million pub which our boss spent money on, handily located in the middle of nowhere. A skeleton staff worked while a lot of us had a pretty miserable and uncertain Christmas - mostly beloved programmers getting paid a lot more than they should of been paid.

We all came back though in the New Year after Jester was saved by Big Ben Interactive, and soon they helped release Super Trucks to an unwanting world in new premises with slightly less staff. Super Trucks featured the "Truck Damage System" or "TDS". Yes! Tedious! That was actually intentional too, but none of the management managed to pick up on that one. The game famously got 4/10 in Official Playstation2 Magazine after our boss unwisely told Manic Miner obsessive "The Starglider" to "f**k off dickhead" via e-mail in response to an innocent query about the game. No one thought nothing of it in management, even when it hit the messageboards and made the top news story in PC Gamer. We then started work on TT Superbikes, which was a labour of love for the management themselves. They love motorbikes! They revved their prized motorbikes outside our windows! What could we do? Besides slowly leave one after the other, while management made no effort to bring you back unless you were a programmer. Jester was relying more and more on external resources, and this kind of upset the established employees who had been with them for some time.

The company meant well with the Manx TT arcade machine in the foyer, but that soon ended up in a state of disrepair and wasn't fixed. Each day we'd come into the building and be greeted by this malfunctioning piece of videogaming history, and compare it to the crumbling company we were working for. The main boss bloke soon decided to bail out, but not after gleefully leeching money from the coffers. More psychological attempts were made to keep staff. Management would walk into our room and talk about "all those UK developers hitting the wall" before adding "good job you guys are still with us, eh?" before leaving us in a state of frantic paranoia. More staff left though, including many of the directors, leaving the actual culprits of manglement terror. Soon Jester was rightly put into administration. The attached local newspaper front page image confirms this.



Hang on though. How can this be? Why, they're still out there! They have the same company name! The same logo! The same IP! Well, here's the thing. They're now called "Jester Interactive Publishing Limited" and are still operating after a nifty deal with the bank. Did I say nifty? Maybe I should of said illegal and completely wrong. TT was released, but only after a huge amount of pre-orders from very patient punters put the game up at number 5 in the charts. Here's a tip for all developers/publishers wanting to get high in the charts - make your userbase wait and wait and wait while they desperately grasp their pre-orders. When you eventually release your game after 2 years of the proposed release date, be amazed at your chart position! The "FIFA Street" effect will soon take hold, as causal gamers see your game in the top ten and purchase it because, well, it must be good. Right? It must be! It's in the top ten!

Jester are the Michael Jackson of the videogame world. They could be caught red-handed forcing people to buy TT Superbikes at gunpoint, only to have the court case fall on its arse and the company get away with it once again. Programmers who could of left and sealed the fate of Jester returned because "they couldn't be bothered with finding new jobs". Ironically, Big Ben tried their magic with TT Superbikes and, er, soon went into administration themselves. Also due to the "fear of poaching", Jester made sure that everyone who worked hard on the TT Superbikes game would not get any form of credit in the manual or the game, except via a cheat mode which the management didn't actually know about. Surely we'd at least all get a free copy for our hard work?

Nope.

I just hope soon this terrible evil will be cleansed from the land. I'm sure there are decent, honest devcos out there which have hit the wall, where all they had to do to stick around was lie to their employees ("Missing pensions? No, no. The money was just resting in our accounts!"), make very shady deals and dubious decisions. My only comfort is knowing the evil management are actually going to Hell.

I would like to remain anonymous, though thank UK-R for the laughs over the years. Keep up the sterling work.

Anon.


Triple-A! Readers -- have you also been violently boned by your games industry paymasters? If so, let UKR shame them to the WORLD!

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RECENTLY...
As well as SELLING OUT we have done this:

BS!

THE ANIMAL CROSSING MEMORIAL UPDATE
We lost the DS and game. This is all that remains of Big City :(

Animal Crossing WW: Game of 2006

MORE HIGHLIGHTS
Because we're that good and incredibly prolific.

Photos of SEGA things in Japan

Amazing Sonic desktop images

PSP Lie blog goes wrong

Afterburner Climax movies and review

Wii - is for women

Wii - is for women X2

A SEGA doormat in Japan!

2006 video game BAFTAs

'Virtually Addicted' TV games-are-evil report

68 photos of booth babes from TGS

Sonic on Coronation Street

Sonic fruit machine

THE LAST YEAR OR SO
Stuff doesn't disappear when it scrolls off the bottom. It gets saved here in monthly chunks:

[March 2004]
[April 2004]
[May 2004]
[June 2004]
[August 2004]
[September 2004]
[October 2004]
[November 2004]
[December 2004]
[January 2005]
[February 2005]
[March 2005]
[April 2005]
[May 2005]
[June 2005]
[July 2005]
[August 2005]
[September 2005]
[October 2005]
[November 2005]
[December 2005]
[January 2006]
[February 2006]
[March 2006]
[April 2006]
[May 2006]
[June 2006]
[July 2006]
[August 2006]
[September 2006]
[October 2006]
[November 2006]
[December 2006]
[January 2007]
[February 2007]
[March 2007]
[April 2007]
[May 2007]
[June 2007]
[July 2007]
[August 2007]
[September 2007]
[October 2007]
[November 2007]
[December 2007]
[January 2008]
[February 2008]
[March 2008]
[April 2008]
[May 2008]
[June 2008]
[July 2008]

Everything

VERY OLD THINGS
Most of it's quite rubbish in hindsight:

[1996-2001]
[2002-2004]

SITES WE DO/DID
[Nintendogging]
[Idiot Toys]
[My Animal Crossing]

SITES WE LIKE
[Spong]
[Eurogamer]
[Kikizo]
[Kotaku]
[Idle Thumbs]
[Insert Credit]
[Wonderland]
[Bizarre Creations]
[Play.d]
[Mr Biffo]

EVERY MOMENT OF PAT'S LIFE
[VG247]

PATCHY BUT WELL-MEANING
[CVG]

NEW SITES WE LIKE
[One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate]
[Gibbage]
[PEOWW]
[Affectionate Diary]

THE TRIFORCE
[The Triforce]

RICHARD NOW LIKES MUSIC MORE THAN GAMES :(
[Rock Hack]

GRAEME'S SOLO PROJECT
[AceyBongos]

SITES WE HATE *SO MUCH* THEY DON'T EVEN DESERVE THE DIGNITY OF A FUNCTIONING LINK
[Penny Arcade]
[Game Girl Advance]
[Total Video Games]
[Gillen]
[B3TA]
[NTSC-UK]

SITES THAT ASKED NICELY FOR A LINK
[A New Band a Day]
[Skullkids]
[Be "Teh" Hero]
[GHZ]
[SEGA Memories]
[Bruce on Games]
[Virtual Console Archive]
[I told you I wasn't dead]
[Sigmatronics]
[Games Asylum]
[Fuck Right Off]
[Retro Thinking]
[Britxbox]
[SEGA Nerds]
[Wii-UK]
[Angry Gamer]
[Dark Revolutions]
[Lemmy + Binky]
[Genki Video Games]
[Open Senses]
[Console Mad]
[Persian Gamers]
[CVG Archive]
[Disposable Media]
[NOOOZ]
[Mean Machines Archive]

NON-GAMING SITES WE READ BECAUSE WE'RE SO ACHINGLY *LIFESTYLE* AND IN TOUCH WITH YOUTH CULTURE
[Photoshop Disasters]
[Aerial Telly]
[Uncle Jen]
[Snackspot]
[Usemycomp.]
[Cybercandy]
[Popjustice]
[Goldenfiddle]
[Rich Herring]

SAY HELLO
And here's how to email us and a couple of other important things:
[Email]
[Workers]
[About]

FEEDS
You don't have to actually read the site to read the site:
[Live Journal]
[XML / RSS]

A 'MYSPACE' WHICH SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN HACKED
Just to fit in:
[UKR MySpace]

SHINY MEDIA:
UKR has joined the Shiny Media blog-o-world. Play nicely with the following Shiny blogs:

FOR BOYS:
Stuff about games, phones and big TVs. [Xboxer]
[WiiWii]
[PSPSPS]
[Tech Digest]
[Tech Reviews]
[Techscape]
[Games Digest]
[HDTV UK]
[iPhonic]
[Mobile Digest]
[Shiny Shiny]

FOR MEN:
Stuff about primal blood sports. [Nollie]
[Scrumbag]
[The Googly]
[Who ate all the Pies]

FOR GIRLS:
Stuff about bags and shoes and pink things. [Bridalwave]
[Catwalk Queen]
[Kiss and Makeup]
[Nollie]
[Shoewawa]
[The Bag Lady]
[Trashionista]

FOR PEOPLE WITH 'LIFESTYLES':
Stuff about TV and music and Paris Hilton. [Available for Panto]
[Bayraider]
[Brandish]
[Corrie Blog]
[Crafty Crafty]
[Dollymix]
[Hecklerspray]
[Hippyshopper]
[Kerching]
[Lost Weekend]
[My Chemical Toilet]
[Popjunkie]
[Star Trip]
[TV Scoop]

THAT'S IT
Now try completing it all again, this time on Normal.