It's going to be REALLY awkward when we inevitably meet them at some UbiSoft industry event now, but we'd be letting you down if we didn't pass comment on the UK wing of entirely fabricated girl gaming clan the Frag Dolls.SO HERE GOES!
She's obviously first. Look! Scroll up and look! She's got lovely big brown eyes like a cow, and that's not an insult because we love cows. We know two men that are already obsessed with her having met her at preliminary Frag Dolls events, and for this reason we should probably put her last, seeing as we're realists and know there's no point pursuing Miss Lovely, but... SHE HAS SUCH BIG BROWN EYES :(
She's like a quite ordinary nice girl who's spent twice as long as usual doing her make-up this morning, probably because she's going to the pub with her male work colleagues after work tonight and wants to try and have sex with one of them. If we were one of her male work colleagues, we'd certainly buy her triples without telling her in order to get her drunk enough to agree (or not be able to say no) to doing the sort of things we like to do to women!
This one's all right. Given that this is probably the first time she's ever been told how to stand for a photo, she's doing an OK job. God know why she's called herself Sarin though. Sarin is a poisonous nerve gas the Nazis and Saddam Hussein liked to use. She must have body image issues if she thinks she's that bad.
Not really. That said, though, at the launch party for Ghost Recon: Whatever Part 3's Called, when we've already had eight double vodka cranberries before we even got there, we'd probably try our patented pulling technique out on her (this involves staring at girls from quite far away, then hoping they come over and talk to us about games or the internet because they noticed us staring at them. Currently we're at 0 for 278 with this technique, so it's bound to work soon).
5. DISQUALIFIED: Jam!
We've put Jam last because we kind of, sort of, half know her a bit, having been made to meet her in a gay bar with lots of weird Goths once, so admitting to wanting to have sex with her (or not wanting to have sex with her at all) would make things even more awkward than they already are (and at the moment they're already as awkward as carrying a fridge up some stairs on your own when only allowed to touch the fridge with your feet and the stairs with your face). That said, we'd *RESISTING REALLY HARD, HARDER THAN EVER BEFORE THROUGH GRITTED-TEETH SMILEY FACE*SUMMARY:
It's out of our hands.