Congratulations on selecting News Archive Three, and might I say what a fantastic selection it is too, because here you can read the older news items we've uploaded for you, and also visit Archive two perhaps even Archive one or dare I suggest, return to the main page. Let's continue:
Nice one TK: Hardcore net users have probably visited TK's Saturn page and the hero seems to have found some really groovy new pictures of Grandia. Seems like this game has had its release further delayed in Japan, but considering the pictures keep getting better each time we see any, let's hope it's delayed some more. No let's not actually. Gary:20/02/97
UK release date: July 3rd 2003
Telly: Hey world, UK TV show Gamesmaster has just shown a little clip of Saturn Manx TT and you'll all be happy to know that it looked really really good. Nice solid scenery, and smooth update made it look like a winner. Gary:20/02/97
...and look out for the racing Sheep code! Jon:20/02/97
Update: Small but perfectly formed reader review of Virtual-On added to reviews page.
Guilty as charged: Regular readers may well remember our "Is Dave Perry a wanker' vote, in which Dave was unanimously declared a complete and utter wanker. Well, just for the benefit of foreign readers who might not know who Dave is, or understand what the term 'wanker' means, feel free to view Dave's Games-animal page, and understand exactly why this man must be destroyed. Gary:18/02/97
"I am a wanker"
Malfunction: Were you amazed at how good the Saturn pictures of Resident Evil looked? Were you stunned at how accurate they seemed? Were you thrilled at how close they appeared to resemble the Playstation version? And were you also ever-so-slightly suspicious that they looked so damn good? Well apparently, due to over-enthusiastic use of a scanner, and a dodgy translation of a Japanese magazine, Playstation pictures were mistakenly understood to be the first Saturn shots, so be wary of any "exclusive" Saturn Resident Evil news. Even ours. Gary:16/02/97
Leather: Gentleman, start your mopeds...Manx TT is set for UK release on March 20th, and it's rumoured to be very good indeed, vroom. Jon M:15/02/97
Chart Toppers: I'd just finished opening my Valentines cards from each of the Spice Girls (except the sporty one) when I realised we hadn't done the 'Top selling Saturn games' bit for a while. It's been a quiet month for new releases so Tomb Raider is deservedly still at the top followed closely by Command and Conquer. Doom is thankfully nowhere to be seen, but come on, own up, who's been buying Destruction Derby!? Jon M:14/02/97
Not Quake news: Rather a report from a reader (cheers) who was dedicated enough (mad) to buy the Japanese version of Daytona CCE even though he also had the US version. Fortunately, the high security psychiatric unit he's currently being detained in has Email facilities, so here's what he had to say:
".......the Jap version has less popup, original Daytona tunes, a link option, but still has that annoying as hell BUTTrock intro & replay music. It also has that wonderful modem capablity, but it's not compatable with the NetLink (believe me I tried!) Also, the backup file works for both games. WOW!......."
I'm not sure how it can have "modem capability" but not be compatible with the Netlink, still thanks for the report, it must've taken you ages to type it with your nose. Gary:14/02/97
Punchline explanation: He was wearing a straight-jacket you see, and had to type with his nose. Did you get it?
Update news: We've updated the speculate page a couple of times.
Satan#4: It seems that UK:Resistance just wouldn't be UK:Resistance these days without the now compulsory item of Saturn Quake speculation, so here is todays installment: One of our most reliable sources tells us that Quake will be (or is being) coded by the now legendary Saturn 3D manipulators Lobotomy.
And with Lobotomy also doing Duke Nuke 'em at the moment, they're going to be very very busy for a while, so any unemployed coders reading had better get that CV and demo off to Lobotomy sharpish. Gary:13/02/97
Boast: Not exactly news, but cool all the same, is receiving visual confirmation (pictures) of the existence of Saturn Resident Evil along with positive reports that the conversion is a good copy of the original. And I'm sorry to mention this again, but exactly where is Playstation X-Men? Nowhere to be seen. Street Fighter v X-Men? Only on the Saturn I'm afraid.
Are there any reasons left to buy a Playstation?
SO WHY DO YOU ALL KEEP BUYING THE BLOODY THING THEN? Gary:12/02/97
Satan#3: The soap opera that is Saturn Quake has taken another turn today, with news that Sega themselves have supposedly snapped up the rights to publish not only Quake, but also its close personal friend Duke Nuke 'em. Good news, as it confirms that at least they both exist, and are both on their way to the Saturn. Eventually. Gary:12/02/97
Set your stall out: We all know that the Saturn has the best football game in existence in the form of Worldwide Soccer '97, which stands proudly on the shelves and laughs hysterically at the crap Playstation version of FIFA soccer, and now one of our reputable informers has let slip that Sega are preparing a sequel to WWS'97 of some kind, and it should be released before the end of the year, further exposing the defensive frailties of EA's faultering team. Gary:10/02/97
Pay attention: In keeping with our new 'one page' philosophy, we will be announcing all new features and stuff right here on our news page. Coincidentally, the first use of this policy is coming along right now, as we announce the launch of our 1997 Readership survey for you all to fill in. Oh and it's compulsory by the way. Gary:08/02/97
Satan#2: Following on once again from our item about various Quake release date traumas, we've just received a conflicting report suggesting that the game is more likely to appear in November, and in a shock mirror of the PC release, Saturn Duke Nuke 'em could well appear before Quake does, as work on Saturn Duke is apparently continuing very nicely, despite gossip to the contrary. Gary:07/02/97
Bugged: If for some reason you wanted to buy Bug Too on it's release today, then you've probably found it strangely absent from the shelves. This is because Sega want you to buy Sonic 3D instead so they've pushed the little green guy back to April. Jon:06/02/97
Satan: Following on from our little speculation below about future Sega releases, one of our 'readers in high places' who should certainly know the score, has just mailed us this important message: "Just thought you'd like to know that Quake is DEFINITELY coming out in the summer through Sega and it'll be a Saturn exclusive."
And it wasn't me who put 'definitely' into capital letters, it was our informer. So there you go then. Gary:05/02/97
Experts: You want more Megamix details!....Okay, the PAL release is receiving the full treatment and will be full screen, full speed. Plus a number of minor enhancements are being made, including a change to the difficulty level. It'll be slightly harder then the Jap version, otherwise it would be too easy for me.Jon:04/02/97
Euro-action: It's that time of the year for the annual update of the official Sega UK/Europe web site, but this time they've taken some of the games out of the release schedule. A few months ago they featured projected release dates for games like Quake and other big names, but this time they've axed all of the 'uncertain' games, and are playing it very safe with only the definite releases for the next month or so. Mistake? Secrecy? Or maybe a hint that some big name games we're expecting may not appear? Gary:04/02/97
Agony: If you're eagerly anticipating Fighters Megamix then you'd better eagerly anticipate for a bit longer as the current PAL release date isn't until sometime in May or June, not March as previously hoped. Jon:03/02/97
Wanted column: Mature, fun-loving UK based on-line games publication seeks informed, honest opinion, about whether the Japanese version of Daytona CCE really has the alledged improvements that are being thrown around various sites and newsgroups. My interests include Link-up mode, higher resolution, reduced pop-up, Netlink options, going to the cinema, and quiet nights in. Please reply to PO Box 1356 including a recent photograph and your opinion on the Japanese version of Daytona CCE. The best reply will be posted here as evidence. Gary:02/02/97
Cancel Red Alert: Thanks to emergency UN Resolution 321003 concerning the previously mentioned Dustin crisis, it looks like Dustin is back on-line. That empty void in my life is filled. Life goes on. Phew. Gary:02/02/97
Note: For those of you who had problems with our quite frankly amazing new links page, we are pleased to announce the upload of version 2.0, which features a lovely site map and avoids all those gaps and missing bits problems. Now that really is, quite frankly, amazing. Gary:31/01/97
Suicide: Several people have mailed us in tears asking what's happened to Dustin's rather splendid Saturn page. Dustin's 'Holy Grail' web site has disappeared without trace, leaving news hunters the world over gagging for information, and at the time of writing the Nikkei share index is down a record 2,500 points, world leaders are assembling in the United Nations headquarters for an emergency summit to discuss the Dustin crisis, and CNN are broadcasting constantly from outside Dustin's house hoping for any further news on this disturbing development. Is this the end of the world? Back to you in the studio Jon. Gary:31/01/97
In financial news: Did you hear various people saying that following the merger between Sega and Bandai, share prices in both companies dropped? Well news reaches us that on that particular day the entire Japanese stock market went down right across the board, so another way of interpreting the information would be to say: "Sony and Nintendo's share prices fell following news of the merger". Accurate, but slightly misleading. Gary:30/01/97
What!?: The Sega-Bandai merger has given rise to all sorts of wild and crazy speculation over the last few days, ranging from "Sega are ditching the Saturn" in some nervous quarters to "VF3 on Playstation for xmas 1998" from 'Should know better' trade paper CTW. If either of those things happen I'll eat my joypad. Jon:29/01/97
Home improvement: Join us on our quest friend, sign our brand new Guestbook, and show the planet that you're smart enough to read UK:Resistance. Gary:29/01/97
Buffet service: Ladies and Gentleman, it is with great pleasure that I announce the maiden upload of our quite frankly amazing new links page. If you have, or know of, a particularly outstanding site of interest or excitement, please let us know, as building work on many new lines is still underway, pending permission from the relevant authorities. Gary:28/01/97
Ahem: Just in case you missed the last announcement, I would like to take this further opportunity to remind all readers that the UK:Resistance quite frankly amazing new links page is now in service. For your further browsing convenience, a link to our quite frankly amazing new page is also located here. I'm sure that you'll all agree that it really is, quite frankly, amazing. Gary:28/01/97
Selector: We've just been told that the Japanese version of Daytona CCE actually allows you to pick between the new tunes, and those classic B-Univ originals. No extra tracks or apparent graphic/control improvements though. Looks like the delayed Japanese release wasn't to change anything, just to avoid it clashing with Fighters Megamix during the Festive sales bonanza. Gary:27/01/96
Hedgehog-Zord: I only bought the newspaper because of the picture of Geri Spice-Girl on the cover, and the happy news that she's dumped her boyfriend. But there was actually an interesting financial article inside, concerning the merger of Sega Enterprises and Japanese toy mega-corporation Bandai. There'll be no effect in Sega's name or business here or in the US, but the new Japanese parent company, cunningly named Sega-Bandai, will hopefully be big enough to seriously compete with the likes of Sony in Japan. Geri:24/01/97
Dead Machines: Please put your hectic lifestyles on hold for a moment, as we have a minutes silence to mourn the passing of UK magazine Mean Machines Sega, as their next issue will also be their last.
On a happier note, Mean Machines Playstation is also closing, but this now leaves only about two or three (generous estimate) half-decent Sega magazines on sale, with at least seven Playstation dedicated titles.
Help redress the balance by going into all of the newsagents in your area, sitting on the floor, and ripping up all the Playstation magazines whilst repeating the phrase: "I am a free citizen. I will not be ignored. I will excercise my democratic rights." Gary:23/01/97
Section eight: When taken into protective custody for magazine vandalism and various public order offences, always remember that 97-percent of Police Constables, when expressing a preference, said they would probably buy a Playstation instead of a Saturn.
Exposing ourselves: The unstoppable media bandwagon that we call UK:Resistance has gathered more pace with the news that "unique" Teletext games magazine, Digitiser, has finally bowed to public opinion and seen fit to mention UK:Resistance on their pages. Not much of a story yet, but the fact that they get well over one million readers every day should help to recruit more Resistance members. If only they'd got the url right. Gary:23/01/97
Chart: Discerning UK Saturn owners should give themselves a hearty round of applause, after the sales figures this week show that Doom no longer appears in the Saturn top ten. We cannot be fooled. Gary:23/01/97
Hallucination: News has seeped in that Amok has actually been released in America. What will games magazines use to fill their 'preview' pages with now? Next thing you know we'll all be playing Scorcher and Heart of Darkness. Gary:23/01/97
Dicks Sons: The truth behind Victory Goal's appearance in the Saturn top ten is down to a certain major electrical store currently knocking them out for eight quid (Still too expensive!). That also explains the re-emergence of the splendid Exhumed which is available for a bargain twenty five smackers. Jon:16/01/97
Update: It was supposed to be a weekly event, but I forgot. So here's the latest UK Saturn sales top 10 to keep all you statistical types happy. It's nice to notice that most Saturn owners couldn't be fooled into buying the duff version of Doom as well. But what about International Victory Goal? We can only assume that many purchasers are confusing the words "international", "victory" and "goal", with the words "worldwide" and "soccer", and the number "97". Gary:16/01/97
1. Tomb Raider
2. Virtua Cop 2
3. Worldwide Soccer '97
4. Command & Conquer
5. International Victory Goal
6. Sega Ages
7. Daytona CCE
9. Athlete Kings
Wimp: I suppose you think you're some kind of hot-shot then, do you? Why not find out how you measure-up by completing our so you think you're a gamer test. Gary:14/01/97
Profit: I expect you're all wondering how the Saturn did over Xmas? Well, the news is good, Sega are expecting to meet their targets for Europe and not end up in the red like the last three years. Sony, whilst selling more Playstations over the holiday period also spent vastly more on marketing and look set to record losses. The FTSE was also down 40 points today. Jon:13/01/97
Nuked: Looks like Duke Nukem 3d is going to be a bit special with the news that Exhumed developers Lobotomy are doing the conversion. Infact while I'm here I'm going to give them a belated Red Star award for being the best new Saturn developers of 1996. Pity they weren't asked to do Doom which was unsurprisingly released before the mags got hold of it. Jon:12/01/97
Sand Storm: Fans of tongue-twisting sentences will be pleased to hear that the Sensational Saturn Sequel Soviet Strike should certainly surface soon in some selected shops. News that the release has been postponed until the Seventh of September, is unfortunately not true. The 14th of February is the current UK date. Gary:11/01/97
Official: We've just had totally official confirmation that, despite some dubious speculation, Tomb Raider 2 will definitely be appearing on the Saturn, and not as a Playstation exclusive.
And as we all know, Fighters Megamix will never appear on the Playstation, so have a good laugh at your Playstation owning friends. Gary:11/01/97
Sounds dodgy: Thanks to yet another honorary Resistance member, news reaches us that the hidden game mentioned below in Die Hard Arcade is something very obscure called Deep Scan. Before you ask, I'm assured it's got nothing to do with bearded Swedish blokes called Sven and their neighbour's 16 year old daughter, instead it's actually some sort of ancient Submarine destruction game with really crusty old graphics. Still, not bad for a freebie, as Sven would say. Gary:06/01/97
Result: I'm sure you all remember our Is Dave Perry a wanker? vote, and I'm also sure you can all guess the result. A staggering 87% voted Dave a wanker, while surprisingly, some people actually voted in favour of Dave, but justified their vote by saying that it was only because Dave had a go at Gamesmaster. One of the "No" votes was just me testing to see if it worked okay, and the others came from "email@example.com" and also "firstname.lastname@example.org". Gary:06/01/97
Result#2: And thanks to everyone who also voted in our vote-vote. You like voting. I'm happy for you.
Spooky coincidence: Typical. You wait ages for a hidden sub-game to come along, and then two come along at the same time. The legs of the UK:Resistance news desk are buckling under the strain of a report that the Saturn version of Die Hard Arcade will contain a perfect version of an old Sega coin-op, which the player can use to rack-up extra credits and other goodies. My guess? Perhaps the original Streets of Rage arcade game. We'll know for sure towards the end of February when the game is released in the UK. Gary:04/01/97
Wind up?: I'm not sure if I'm being wound up here, but a pretty interesting rumour has just arrived on the small, insignificant, UK:Resistance News desk. It concerns the massively under-rated Saturn "Doom 'em up" Exhumed. Confirmed findings of archealogical relics known as Development Dolls are well documented, but once all of the 23 individual dolls have been discovered, a multi-player 3D tank game is alleged to be revealed. There's no cheat to access this without collecting all the dolls, so it's difficult (bloody difficult) to check. But I'm sure my new informant wouldn't lie to me. Any of you bleary-eyed doll-collecting maniacs out there got the lot yet? Gary:03/01/97
Surprise: In a break with recent tradition, we've actually got some news to put on the news pages. This comes from another anonymous source I'm afraid, but football fans will be over the moon to hear that a sequel to arcade boot 'em up Virtua Striker should be arriving in local amusement establishments very soon. Just take one game at a time though lads. Gary:02/01/97
Patent pending: The phrase "boot 'em up" is copyright UK:Resistance, 1997.
Hero: Special thanks to everyone who voted in our game of the year award, especially to the fantastically named Arunas Bajarunas. Cheers for your vote Arunas! Gary:02/01/97
Result: If you've read our Red Star awards you'll know that Tomb Raider won our game of the year vote, but here's the full top five run down, mate. Jon:30/12/96
1. Tomb Raider
3. Sega Rally
4. Virtua Fighter 2
5. Virtua Cop 2
Waffle: The News page seems to have mutated into a list of all the stupid articles we've been putting together recently, so it'll be no surprise to you when I invite you all to read our list of predictions for the gaming world in 1997. Gary:30/12/96
Traditions: There are two main traditions that we all take part in at this time of year. The first is waking up wearing all your clothes not knowing where you are, and the second is the annual round-up of events and giving of awards.
The first one I'll leave to you to sort out yourselves, but the second is taken care of right here as we bring you the first annual Red Star Awards featuring the highs and lows of UK:Resistance's last twelve months. Gary:29/12/96
More mix?: The Japanese version of Fighters Megamix is alleged to contain some extra text files (conveniently in Japanese), that refer to something called Drivers Megamix. Is this a hoax, bad translation, load of bollocks, or possibly the imminent release of the greatest driving game ever? Will you be able to "drive" any of the Virtua Fighters? What will you use for a Gear-stick? Will Pai come first? Stay tuned race fans. Gary:29/12/96
Return: Back after Christmas with a couple of pictures that really show what a completely unhinged game Fighters Megamix really is:
Diversion: Hey, it's Christmas, why not vote just for the hell of it.
Merchant: All this festive cheer is starting to become a bit boring, so why not join us on a needless, hurtful, and downright nasty hate campaign against someone we've never met?
Sounds like fun. The target is Dave Tea-towel-head Perry. Tell us what you think by voting in our Dave Poll. We'll tell him the result. Gary:21/12/96
Not him: We should point out that there are two Dave Perry's around, we're not talking about the one who runs Shiny Entertainment, and is a nice bloke.
Excuses: A lot of Saturn owners are still upset with the whole Christmas NiGHTS shananigans. We thought we'd give you the real deal, so here is Sega UK's explanation of the affair.
Well here we are again. Another archive has been formed, and I hope you've all found something of interest here, albeit rather later than originally planned. Fans of even older news might like to visit News Archive Two which contains more historical data, and fans of really ancient text might like to check out the scrolls located under News Archive One, but remember to treat these decaying documents with the respect they deserve.