We've been going for nearly two years now. Blimey. And what have we got to show for it? Slightly worse eyesight, extra bodyweight thanks to the inactivity, better typing skills, a thorough knowledge of html (but nothing too complicated), and of course, our incredibly comprehensive news archive system! Here's all the "stuff" we uploaded between about January and April of '98:
There will be a revelation in shops around the country on the 15th of April. Why? The May edition of Sega Saturn Magazine will have a CD on the front. But it's not a demo - it's the entire first disc of Panzer Dragoon Saga! That's like, the entire first disc. In its entirety. The first disc. All of it. Now that's cool. If you don't live in the UK, console yourself with the fact that we probably pay twice as much for everything than you do. And yes, it is raining right now.
(Note: Actually it's not raining, that was just a cunning ploy to make you all feel better. It's really quite unseasonably warm at the moment, which rather adds insult to injury for our foreign fans)
Now unofficially known as Employee of about every other week, or whenever we can be bothered, you'll be pleased to hear that we've 'done' another one.
The world is shaped by many things. One of the less influencial factors is the semi-regular UK:Resistance Most Wanted games list which, in the global scheme of things, is ranked alongside "dropping something on the floor" and "sitting down" in the importance stakes. Still, we've just put together another one - and there's nothing you can do to stop us. It shouldn't be too tough to guess what's included...
A new Saturn game? Is this some kind of joke? Nope, one of the Saturn games revealed at the Tokyo Game Show goes by the name of Millennium Fire and looks like some kind of cross between Tomb Raider and Virtua Cop, sporting some 3D shooting action. But it's kind of hard to tell. It looked like a Gun game anyway. We can't really bring you any more exclusive TGS news, but what we can give you is this rather bewildering picture of a man in a strange monster suit, pictured at the TGS. Miles better than any grainy game shots:
Image: 78 percent of all Japanese gamers dress like this in their spare time:
Update: Well, the first surprise is that Sega still have a UK release list, the second surprise is that we've updated our release date section.
Amazed: At least SOE aren't giving up the fight like those losers at SOA, there was a half page ad in the tabloid papers today promoting the forthcoming titles, Panzer saga, House of the Dead and Burning Rangers. Maybe SOE's new marketing manager is better than the last one.
No Show: The TGS (see recycled joke 1) is under way in Japan right now, and Sega seem to be employing their usual marketing strategy of not actually showing off anything interesting at all. No one's talking about the new system, or VF3 for that matter. There has been one of those 'secret' games unveiled for the Saturn though, an underwater caper called 'Deep Fear' which probably won`t be released outside of Japan anyway. Jon:21/03/98
Recycled joke 1: TGS stands for Tokyo Game Show, and shouldn't be confused with the Tokyo Gynaecologists Seminar which is taking place in a building further up the road.
Sigh: One of the best games around is X-Men vs Street Fighter on the Saturn. That's not in question, and only a fool would argue otherwise (or buy the PlayStation version instead). So why the sigh? Why the drooping head and look of despair in the UK:Resistance all-seeing eye? Well, it's been delayed. Originally due for a march/april release, X-Men v SF has slipped to the summer (optimistic) or the autumn (september-ish). Apparently, the delay's due to contract negotiations between Sega and Virgin, who are also keen to release the game. Maybe they're arguing over who's the worst at releasing games on time... M Bison:18/03/98
Idea: Hey Sega/Virgin people - why not use the extra time constructively by putting together a decent PAL version of the code? Unlike the PAL version of Marvel "Super" Heroes. Dream on...
S-O-S: Here`s a public service broadcast on behalf of someone who owns a Netlink for his Saturn, but happens to live in the UK. Basically, he wants to know if there`s any other UK Netlink people out there he can actually play against? So if for some bizarre reason you bought one as well, stand up and be counted by sending him an e-mail (Please note: UK:Resistance does not encourage the buying of ill-advised, badly supported technology. Apart from the Saturn, obviously)
Retainer: Time for the (almost) weekly awarding of our Emplyoee of the Week feature.
Our survey says: Thanks to all of you who completed our reader survey recently, we've now been able to build up a psychological profile of our average reader, and here it is...
You visit every other day for the fantastic mix of news and comedy features from your free work access. You`re going to be keeping your lovely Saturn. You think Sega should send us more review copies of games, you like comedy and would like Bananarama to reform. You`ve owned a Saturn for, ooh ages and find the perfect graphics of our site load fairly fast. You`re all male except for one solitary female, you all like Employee of The Week and are in favour of a letters page. Cracker:10/03/98
We are in negotiations with Bananarama's agents as we speak...
Concede: Here are the latest market figures from the UK software sales market: PlayStation 68.9% of the market, Saturn 4.5% of the market. I think we're out-numbered, shall we surrender?