Gamers Against 3DO!
London, England, July 21, 2002
UK Resistance is pleased to announce the launch of Gamers Against 3DO (www.gamersagainst3do.com) an all-new consumer pressure group set up to represent the opinions of all gamers.

"For too long now we have had to endure sub-par products from the 3DO corporation, which insists on soiling the reputations of both players and games machines" said a UKR spokesman, just like people always do in these kinds of shit fabricated press release news items that ramble on and on and on and on and on before actually making any kind of point.

Now we say NO! NO to 3DO! NO to Trip Hawkins! NO to brand extensions of the Might & Magic series, and NO! to any further events taking place in the World Destruction League.

NOTES:
UK Resistance was founded in 1996 to help the Sega Saturn achieve world domination.
Gamers Against 3DO was founded in 2001 as a joke.

PICTURES WE JUST FOUND ON THE INTERNET, CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO DO WITH, BUT REALLY WANT TO PUT UP ANYWAY:
Mike Stephenson and his dog, Dinah.

See how the dog is leaning slightly to its right, as if ashamed
and trying to disassociate itself from Mike.
http://www.foolaround.net/dinah.htm

Good publicity/bad publicity conundrum
In relation to the above update. Here is a photograph of Lara Croft conducting an orchestra, apparently recording the music to "her" game. Surely a move like this can only damage sales, while simultaneously convincing all of the malaise that is destroying the Eidos empire. That said... nice tits.

It needs no speech bubble. The imagination throws up so many possibilities.

CHART ANALYSIS!
...has been cancelled due to large amount of non-movers. Sonic still ahead.

Fun with the Fujitsu-Siemens promotional photo archive!
We're spoiling it for everyone. Soon they're bound to password protect it. Until then...

Other things that aren't funny any more. #2 The prospect of war in Asia
This would not be a shitty, rubbish, pretend little war like the ones the Americans organise when their rockets start to reach their 'Explode By' dates. Journalists, for once, would not want a company funded trip there to do reports for GMTV. This would be a war like you see in films, read about in books or the ones presented in video game cut scenes that show cities disappearing in hazy flashes of white light. The have nuclear bombs, we'd all get cancer, chicken tikka masalas would rocket in price overnight.

UNSPEAKABLY SHIT PHOTOSHOP JOKE OF THE WEEK FOR YOU TO EMAIL ROUND ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS LIKE YOU'RE SOME BIG FUCKING COMEDY GENIUS WHO ALWAYS FINDS EVERYTHING ON THE INTERNET FIRST:

#2: A kitten with poorly whited-out pupils and some horns
put on its head like it's some kind of evil monster.

Frozen in time!
When Sega sites give up. Numer Two: VG Online, frozen in time, Wednesday, September 16, 1998.

Sample quote: "A new site devoted entirely to Sega has just opened up the site is called Sega Web it feature a news section, Reviews, Previews, and Cheats for Sega systems. Sega Web also will keep you up to date with the upcoming Dream Cast system (Sega's new console system due in 99). Sega Web is a promising new site so stop by and tell'em Randy's Video Game Page sent ya!

*WARNING: Contains MIDI background music (Goldeneye).

Shit things about the internet. #2: Arguments
Some people, eh?

Game Talk!
This week's Hot Topic discussed by some men in a pub! You know, it's a lifestyle feature!
Week Two: Microsoft's Xbox pricing strategy

John: I might get one.
Mark: Two hundred quid's OK.
Steve: Mmm.

UK Resistance -- The LIFESTYLE web site!

Richard Jacques update
Rich emailed us in quite high spirits, disputing the fact that he is "old". We replied, saying it was only funny because we too were born in the same year as him, and therefore the joke was also on us.

Rich then emailed us back, again in a light-hearted fashion, saying it was OK and he was glad the site was back up again.

There has been no further contact since.

SUBmissions/DOMain
Send us things and we'll put them up. So far we have had ONE EMAIL from someone who said they went to send us something, but accidentally deleted the message before it was sent and couldn't be bothered to type it all out again. That's the spirit. Thought you people were supposed to have issues?