Here in the UK, it`s easy for a girl to achieve celebrity status in just two easy steps. 1. `Know someone famous`, and 2. `turn up at a film premiere with not very much on`. Emma here, has done both those things successfully and now she`s raking it in advertising soap and cheese graters and stuff

We`d probably employ Emma to promote our `98 range of UK:R merchandise, but even with our huge offshore bank accounts I doubt we could afford her at the moment.

Last week's star