Employee of the week (with a difference)

Ask not for whom my bell throbs... it throbs for thee! Despite having breasts as fake as the character references on Carlos 'The Jackal's' CV, we'd still love to employ Carmen Electra. Can you guess why?

With her vast silicon reserves we would use Carmen simply as a RAM upgrade for the UK:Resistance computer system, allowing the machine to become all-powerful and letting us wreak havoc around the world (a bit like Lex Luthor in Superman III). Amazing what you can do with a pair of tits.

Last week's star