Dear Dannii, I've always been a huge fan of yours, especially your records, my favourite of which is probably 1992's 'Baby Love' although last year's 'All I Wanna Do' was also a rather catchy disco tune, and I was devastated by the way it fell out of the charts after only one week at number 34. You've always been beautiful, and I really love the way that your hair is now blonde and you seem taller and thinner than ever before. I hope you still plan to continue your film and TV work in this country, as you're one of the few actresses who really lights up the screen when you're on, and I also hope you carry on making great records with great videos like that one where you were in the bikini and dancing around a lot. That was my favourite, I taped it off the television so I can watch it again and again. I have watched that one so many times the picture on my video is starting to wear out when it gets to the bit where you bend down to pick up your shoes. And God damn it, you even have gorgeous feet stuck down at the end of that wonderful body. I also recorded your performance of 'All I Wanna Do' on 'Live and Kicking' Saturday 18th July, 1997 - did you know that it was possible to see the outline of your bra through through your shirt? And for two frames (time index 04:01.17) it's possible to see your knickers!!! Sadly, the tape is now so worn it's impossible to see through the static now. Your 1997 calendar was fantastic - I bought 107 copies of it and wallpapered my spare room with the pictures. That is now my special room where I go to think about you. Did you get the photographs I sent you of me in my special Dannii room? The polaroids? The ones with me, naked, surrounded by my collection of newspaper and magazine cuttings of you? I made the dress I was wearing to look like the one you wore on Top of the Pops on March 26th, 1991, when you had your first hit record, and as you can see, I've even covered my face with the same colour of lipstick as you were wearing that day. I love you Dannii, and I know it sounds crazy, mad or even foolish to say this, but when I watch you on television I can tell that you love me too by the way that you look at me out of the screen, and I'm sure your records contain subliminal backwards messages about how much you want me, but I own them all on CD and can't work out how to play them backwards. I have already sold all of my worldly possessions and quit my job so that we can buy a house together, in the country, just you and me, together, forever. I've told my parents and they're very happy for us, and I know that I can make you happy too, Dannii. So, basically, I was wondering if you'd fancy going out to dinner with me some time?
Oh.
Last week's star