Thanks to those of you who bothered to fill in our reader survey, and we now present the deeply meaningful and important (ahem) results. It's way too difficult to work all your votes out as exact percentages, so we've just estimated them near enough. Okay?

The most common answer was 5-10 with about half the votes, the other votes were split, with 1-4 representing the dedicated readers and over 10 both getting around 25%.

Does the % sign work okay on everyone's browser? Good, let's continue:

Which word do you find the most amusing:

Without doubt this was a landslide victory for cheese, with both pamphlet and the pre-survey favourite flange only getting around 10% of the 'comedy word' votes. Lots of cheese references for us from now on then.

Do you think UK:Resistance is good value for money:

Thanks to all you sad people who mentioned ISP charges and phonebills, and completely ruined the joke. Bastards.

Who do you think are the most stupid out of the following:

This one caused some confusion in the democracy process, as many of you voted for all of them, which I suppose is technically correct, but also an administrative nightmare. Just tell the Playstation owners that it's cool to be stupid, they'll be happy.

On a scale of brown (the worst) to red (the best) how do you rate UK:Resistance overall:

A pleasingly large percentage of mauve for us, which is probably deceptive, because people that think we're crap probably wouldn't bother with 'that stupid survey thing'. Still, at least there were no brown votes, and literally 3 or 4 red votes. I expect they ticked the wrong box though.

If the value of X equals Y*Z, and Y plus Z equals the cosine of UK:Resistance, Y equals:

Another comedy question ruined by people pointing out that none of the answers are correct. Bastards.

Since you've started reading various internet news pages, do you still buy as many printed monthly games mags:

Ooooh contraversial one! I was expecting most of you to read less mags than before, but about 75% of you said your paper-based reading habits were the same as before you started reading Internet games pages. Maybe it's just the fact that there's so few Sega mags left in the UK......

Who's hardest:

Akira and old-timer Ryu were about 50/50 in the votes, with poor old Wolverine left to pick the kids up from school and do the shopping.

Who's prettiest:

Virtua Fighter babe Sarah was the clear winner, proving that sensible clothes really can be attractive, and that men with badly bleached perms are not very popular.

Just how much do you like our new links page:

Regular readers correctly spotted that our new links page really is, quite frankly, amazing. Minus ten points for all of you who voted otherwise.

Would you like us to make up news, so we can update the news page even when nothing happens:

In a touching display of Human nature, at least 90% said we should be honest and not make up news on 'light' news days. Shame, I always think made up news is more interesting.

Anthea Turner should be:

Chorus: "Who's Anthea Turner?" We should've guessed that a minor B-list UK celebrity would cause confusion amongst our cosmopolitan worldwide audience, but trust us, if you knew Anthea.........

Using the brown to red scale, how optimistic are you about the Saturn and Sega's future:

*Gasp of surprise*
This was really a surprise result. We thought that most of our readers would be content partisan Saturn owners, but it seems that you're not at all confident in the future. Green was the most popular answer, followed by the slightly better aqua-marine, but overall a resounding vote of 'no confidence' for Sega.

The Spice Girls:

Triggering not so much a gasp of surprise, but something more like a groan of ecstacy, it seems that the world has gone Girl-crazy. Thanks to both the Saturn joypad and the Girls choice of clothing, we now have the strongest wrist muscles in the northern hemisphere. Especially my colleague, Jon 'slow-motion replay' M.

By the way, which is your favourite one?

A: The 'posh' dark haired one
B: The 'sporty' one
C: The 'black' one
D: The blonde 'dog' one
E: The 'horny one with the red hair who everyone wants to give one' one