A Christmas Tale
It's a Sega Dreamcast! "Hooray!" shouted Thomas. "Now I can stay in my room playing video games for the rest of my life, making the world a better place by keeping out of it! It's the best Christmas, ever!"
The he plugged it in, causing a shower of sparks to flash from the rusting plug socket. "Why, mean old Mr Dorooge has allowed the orphanage to fall into such a state of disrepair, that I have been electrocuted and shall shortly die," spluttered Thomas as he was blasted across the dusty room by the ferocious electrical discharge.
"Shit," moaned Thomas as his bowels released their load. "This was the best Christmas, for a few short seconds I knew happiness."
"Please Santa, deliver Dreamcasts to all the other orphans so that they too may have a Happy Christm... uuugghh."