YOU KNOW WHEN you're playin' games, and then your girlfriend comes in and is like "hey, man, that game's cool!" and you're, like, playing on your Dreamcast? That's what I'm like, man, Dreamcast is just so cool. I was in the pub with my mates an' they were on about how cool Dreamcast is. So I was like "yeah!" and this guy said about his PlayStation and how it was dead, and we were all like nodding an' shit.
The web is cool. I found this cool site with skateboards an' jungling music. You can get films and cars for free from America. I got a wife from this online catalogue from Thailand. She was pretty, but they didn't put air-holes in the box they sent her in. They sent me a replacement, but she had a cock so I sent her back. They're sending me another one.
I GOT THIS SHIRT from Burtons for £50 and my mate said he could get it off the net for $200! That's loads cheaper! I get all my stuff off the net now.
It's like the net is the future, and now we're in the future, so the Dreamcast is helping the future to come sooner. In Japan, right, they've got machines that do your job for you so you don't have to go to work. That's why stuff in Japan is so small, because robots are better at making it.
My mate's got this fridge that knows when it's run out of stuff, so it phones the shop and orders more of it automatically. It goes like "hey, it's Dave's fridge. I need more fucking cheese and milk and shit." His TV tapes his favourite programmes on its own, but one day he told it to tape this rubbish old film and it told him to fuck off! It said "I aint taping that shit" and started playing all these weird porno movies!
AND EVERY FIVE YEARS everything gets twice as good. So soon we'll have cars that know where you're going, an' you won't even have to TELL them. Soon they'll make games machines that you can play against, so, like, without anyone else there you can play against the computer!
My mate says this PlayStation 2 is gonna come with movies built in. So you get all these movies for free off the net, and it like connects all the stuff in your house together, so you can make your TV open the curtains and stuff. My mate's got one from this bloke he knows, says it can even make his microwave go on by just thinking about it.
It's got a clock in it so it knows what time it is and everything.