UK:RESISTANCE » PROMOTIONAL IMAGES

NINTENDO RELEASE 3DS – WORLD STOPS

Terrier — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 19:31:42 +0000

Today marks the UK launch of the 3DS, and thousands of COMPLETE IDIOTS queued all night just to get their hands on one.

Here’s the list of launch games for the 3DS:
PilotWings Resort
Steel Diver
Kid Icarus: Uprising
Mario Kart 3DS
Nintendogs
Animal Crossing
StarFox 64 3D
Paper Mario

Nothing really exciting in that lineup worth forking out £200 for. Also you could add the prefix “Yet another…” to most of those games. Does the world really need another Mario Kart? Really?

Bonus material – Nintendo employed a woman to hold their product in a hideous flash-driven piece of promo fluff on their site.

Seems to have the basic idea, but loses points for thumb placement. 6/10

THE 2011 VIDEO GAME BAFTAS

phorenzik — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 11:29:40 +0000

It happened a few days ago but I couldn’t be bothered to post at the time

Various sequels won awards against a backdrop of pretentious idiots quaffing champagne.

Gemma Atkinson was there. Do people still fancy her?

Ben Kingsley and his missus turned up (surprisingly). He must’ve got muddled up and thought it was the film one instead

Iain Lee was (predictably) there

Blue were (hilariously) living up to their name

That’s your lot for another seven days!

SNUG-RUG

phorenzik — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 14:01:10 +0000

A product called Snug-Rug exists.

It’s basically a thermal burka.

That’s not the reason it’s here though.

Can you guess why?

The most realistic portrayal of ordinary family life you’ll ever see

Here’s another clue

And while we’re dishing out the shame, lets get Nintendo in on it too

I didn’t have enough comments planned for three pictures so you’ll have to come up with your own.

These are the kind of updates you can expect when nearly a week of inactivity elapses. It’s not even Sega-related.

SEGA PROMOTIONAL IMAGES

phorenzik — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 13:10:00 +0000

That’s right, it’s plural.

Because I don’t have any original ideas, here’s some more pictures of that funny man with his shirt off from the new Yakuza game:

The internet says he’s called Esper Ito

Apparently, they’re all popular comedians in Japan and Sega thought it wise to include them in the only game series that they haven’t yet wrecked.

Hopefully, the localised UK version will feature an equally popular light entertainer?

SEGA PROMOTIONAL IMAGE

phorenzik — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 15:30:35 +0000

That’s your lot for today folks

WHY GAMING’S GONE TO SHIT

phorenzik — Fri, 26 Nov 2010 15:12:22 +0000

Case file No.1

Michael Jackson – The Experience:

The only thing I’m experiencing right now is sadness, contempt and despair

Ubisoft only need seven idiots to buy this before it turns a profit and spawns the inevitable spin off title:

Fin

JEDWARD PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY HORROR

Terrier — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 11:10:09 +0000

As we already know hateful fuck-knuckles John and Edward are promoting Nintendo’s DSi, in particular some crappy-looking JRPG. I had to taint my computer by going to the Daily Mail website for these:

John and Edward, looking like twats.

John and Edward, looking like twats. Again.

Picture chosen for its Photoshop potential. Send in your best ones to the usual address.

WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

M. Zorg — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 09:14:00 +0000

I’m the one covered in mud and poo because the pigs got out again and their house blew away in the wind last night (not pictured):

You’re all Mr Top-Right. Have fun. It certainly looks like fun.

HALL OF FAME, DAVID CRANE

M. Zorg — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 09:43:43 +0000

Has a big brain, made some nice games.

Cuts his own hair. Probably shy about going to the hairdressers. This bit isn’t supposed to rhyme, it’s avant garde.

NINTENDO/LYCRA/SHOES OFF IN PUBLIC

M. Zorg — Wed, 26 May 2010 09:19:00 +0000

Here are some photos of whatever Nintendo’s latest revision of whatever that plastic standy-on thing’s called. Sorry we can’t be any more accurate than that, we really have not been paying attention to anything about games at least the last 18 months.

Don’t know what terrifies us more – having to do exercise, being near women in sports clothes, or being made to take our shoes off in a public place.

OFFICIAL CAPTION:
“In this photo provided by the American Heart Association and Nintendo of America, consumer Erica Maynard of Newport News, Va., demonstrates how active-play video games like Wii Fit Plus can be a part of a healthy lifestyle.”

OFFICIAL CAPTION:
“In this photo provided by the American Heart Association and Nintendo of America, Neil Meltzer, American Heart Association chairman of the board, enjoys playing Wii Sports Resort for Nintendo’s Wii console after announcing a new strategic relationship between the two organizations at an event in New York on May 17, 2010. The American Heart Association and Nintendo will be joining forces to promote physically active play as part of a healthy lifestyle.”