This one’s quite grim. Blame a broken society, not us.

If only the general public had preferred the home conversion of Daytona USA to the home conversion of Ridge Racer.

We think Guinness has got confused about what constitutes a “World Record” and is actually producing something more akin to a List of Features, in chronological order in which they first appeared in video games.

Still no name tag. At least we now know she’s a Guinness employee and not a SEGA one.

We’ve had some great PlayStation associations with murder this year, but you can’t get better than having the UN endorse your games console/violent crime assumptions.

The UN is apparently afraid that a “PlayStation mentality” will soon ENGULF the military world, resulting in everyone dying and suffering and paying £425 for things that are subsequently deemed shit and reduced to £229 and so on.

We’ve had to fiddle with the “back end” of the site and introduce a whole new PlayStation Murders sub-category to cope. Thanks, the United Nations! Sent in by a “Victor” or at least someone who gets off on pretending to be a Victor.

A man ventured into Currys. Is that still what men do? Is Currys still men looking at TVs and game boxes?

“I was perusing the shelves of my local Currys Digital at lunchtime when I came across this little beauty. I for one am delighted that ‘Gioteck’ is offering those ’serious about their gaming’ the chance to make their dualshit controllers useable. You really couldn’t make it up” – Yiggy.

This makes Gioteck an ACCESSSORY to Sony’s crimes. And that’s meant to be a joke.

Looks like Mr Hirai saw one of those printed out signs on a lamp post, about earning POUNDS in your spare time working from home. It’s one way to get out of THE HOLE.

It’s the US PlayStation Protection Plan, which an exciting new way for Americans to give Sony a bit more money for nothing in return.

For the 20th time this year alone, the PlayStation brand STANDS ACCUSED of being party to MURDER MOST FOUL. The horrible console’s latest murderous rampage is detailed below, a rampage triggered by the EVIL MACHINE’S off switch – the most frequently used switch of all.

If you have a PS3, or know of anyone with a PS3, be wary. It’s probably best to burn down any retail establishments which stock them, to be safe.

Story found here. Submitted by a man who supplied no less than THREE separate names in his email, the least odd of which is “Darth Canis”.

Train2Game has got enough money out of people to be able to pay for a TV advert. It’s called “Be in the Game” and you can probably imagine EXACTLY how it’s going to look and unfold from that evocative description.

This ad apparently “airs” during “The Gadget Show” on a channel called “Fiver” tomorrow night. Fiver is also how much it must cost to advertise during The Gadget Show.

You can’t embed the video, obviously, because then everyone would be able to view it in environments in which comment cannot be censored by the T2G INTERNET ENFORCEMENT POLICE. So click here to see it, then come back here with your post-screening reviews.

Hopefully this is just the stylish Japanese PlayStation Move photography, and Sony Europe is, at this very moment, renting a recently modernised converted riverside loft-style apartment and thumbing through brochures of models for the EMEA LIFESTYLE shoot.

Nice disclaimer. Big, readable text. Wouldn’t want to go issuing press shots that turn out to be COMPLETE LIES again, eh?

Of course, you can also play it while sitting down, occasionally flicking your wrist with disinterest.

That looks like fun. It’s like waving your arms about. Whenever we start to feel a bit bored, there’s nothing we like more than standing up and flailing our arms about for 20 minutes.

PLAN: Knuckle down and ignore all games for the next five years.

We knew that PDF copy of Metro would come in useful more than once.

How embarrassing must it be to be 17 and have to pretend you’re offended by pornography in front of your mother?

And here’s today’s Sudoku.

Didn’t the ENEMY already try motion controls for its PS3 only to be LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN by doing it very, very shoddily indeed? Or are we all supposed to have forgotten the SIXAXIS and its limp collection of crowbarred-in, useless, mini-game shite by now?

Perhaps the concept now is Sony has copied Nintendo better and more comprehensively this time around?

Putting the buttons in different places isn’t going to make playing SOCOM on the stupid thing any more enjoyable. And can someone email us the LIFESTYLE photography, please?