1. Rikki said:
   March 28th, 2007 on 3:27 pm

   “it’s a-me maaaario” – he even sounds slow, whereas Sonic: well it’s in the name, isn’t it?

   What chance does the fat plumber have? Although, hedgehogs aren’t notorious for their speed.

   Maybe it will all finally come out that Sonic’s adversaries were actually all stuck in a slow-motion warp drive, so due to relativity, Sonic thought he was fast?

   zoqium: on the periodic table…

2. David said:
   March 28th, 2007 on 5:11 pm

   Sonic’s got more and more shite with every game since Sonic 2, so by now Mario could probably beat him at everything except the 100m run-at-the-camera-oops-I-fell-off-the-level.

   16-bit Sonic vs 16-bit Mario? Mario wouldn’t stand a chance. He’d shove a raccoon up his bum and fly off in shame.

3. Zouka said:
   March 28th, 2007 on 5:33 pm

   Maybe Sonic is given loads of tranquilizers before each event or something.

   Or Mario is pumped up on steroids.

   Or both.

4. Mentski said:
   March 28th, 2007 on 5:41 pm

   Ok, so Sonic will pretty much piss over him in the 100m dash, but Mario might have it in the toilet unblocking marathon.

   or something.

5. jeremy said:
   March 28th, 2007 on 6:17 pm

   he’ll grab his cape and have yoshi trip him on the first round.

6. Joel said:
   March 28th, 2007 on 6:49 pm

   If I see sonic at his full speed running at the same speed as mario, I will be upset.

7. Dalvado said:
   March 28th, 2007 on 10:57 pm

   Sonic’ll take the running events easily. The shot putt? Well Mario might have the edge.

8. Nigel Tufnel said:
   March 28th, 2007 on 11:22 pm

   And the high-jump contest.

   Who’s actually going to be developing this? I’d like to see Sonic Team involved… *snigger*

9. Sam said:
   March 28th, 2007 on 11:25 pm

   You fools, don’t you see? Pack your things and run for the hills, this is an omen!

   The Universe is going wrong! Judgement day is coming!

10. phorenzik said:
    March 29th, 2007 on 11:25 am

    This is wrong.
    Mario: Don’t let Sonic drag you down too.

11. Dan said:
    March 29th, 2007 on 12:26 pm

    Sonics fucked in the swimming though isnt he?

12. Madbury said:
    March 29th, 2007 on 1:44 pm

    Hopefully the only one that will be fucked in the swimming pool is Cream.

13. James said:
    March 29th, 2007 on 2:59 pm

    I disagree with david. Sonic 2 was a crock of donkey shit wanked out in less than a year to rob the entire nation. Sonic 1, CD and 3+K are good, good enough to make us all extremely sad bastards for sonic despite sega whipping us in the dick with a belt buckle for over 10 years with wanky crap. So there.

14. defenestrator said:
    March 29th, 2007 on 6:14 pm

    “Mario and Sonic have been respectful rivals since the early days of video games,” said Nintendo’s Shigeru Miyamoto. “Now that they have been given the perfect opportunity to meet at the Olympic Games, we may finally learn who is actually faster, Mario or Sonic?”

    This burning question has kept me up many a night. Others:

    What is faster, a cheetah or a mule corpse?

    What is faster, an F-15 or a skateboard?

    What is faster, DSL or dial-up?

    etc.

15. Robotron2084 said:
    March 29th, 2007 on 11:50 pm

    In this picture, Sonic is about to finish his race while the big fat plumber is still in his first lap, and hasn’t even reached the first curve.

    Sonic overtook him so many times that the judges stopped to count. The memories of this humiliation is carved in the world’s eyes forever.

    As the only logical consequence to such blatant demonstration of Sega’s Excellency, the United Nation decided Japan should restart the production of Dreamcast (or face immediate destruction).

16. amagni said:
    March 30th, 2007 on 12:05 am

    Remember the end of Gladiator? Where the emperor took a break from molesting his sister to have a staged fight with Russel Crowe after stabbing him backstage?

    Same thing, Mario knows he could have Sonic killed, the rebellion is over, but he wants the public to see him “win” to discourage further dissent.

17. ThwartedEfforts said:
    March 30th, 2007 on 9:53 am

    Uh that was The Empire Strikes Back where Russel Crowe was encased in cellulite.

18. Gazu said:
    April 1st, 2007 on 10:24 am

    Speed is irrelevant but direction is everything.

    sonic is going down
    mario is going up

    btw sonic size should be like a mario’s shoe

19. Clive said:
    April 2nd, 2007 on 10:00 am

    you are all forgetting mario has been in training the last few years, playing soccer, tennis, basketball and the occasional round of golf. The frequent partys may have taken their toll on the guy tho.

20. Alexandre said:
    April 2nd, 2007 on 10:54 pm

    Sonic isn’t faster than Mario.
    It’s because Megadrive was more powerful so Sonic seemed to be faster than Mario on Super Nes.

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